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I have done the math. I have crunched the numbers. I know the chances are slim.

 

 

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My son Isaiah. I am so proud of the player he is becoming and the effort he puts in. He loves the game and it shows. He made the future stars squad and could have made the all-star travel team but I held him back (he’s technically too young). Let him know you’re rooting for him!! #mykids #mykidsrock #mykidsmyworld #familytime #celebratelife #connecticut #kidsofinstagram #familiesofinstagram #prouddad #meriden #baseball #baseballislife #littleleague #futurebabybomber #myson #futureking #myboy

A post shared by Scott Gombar (@scottgombar) on Jun 2, 2018 at 5:55am PDT

You’re probably wondering what I am talking about. Let me share.

I have written a few times on The Dad Tax about my son Isaiah and his baseball skills.

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Isaiah is 8 years old. He has above average skills on the diamond…for an 8-year-old. This isn’t a dad bragging about his son. This is feedback I have received from other coaches, including one coach who has worked with players like Charlie Morton.

Typically, he plays middle infield unless I feel he is lacking focus and then I move him to the outfield. Focus is one thing I stress but one thing he often lacks.  And yes I am one of his coaches.  I am also probably harder on him than any of the other kids on my team.

He prefers Shortstop. One of his favorite players (now retired) is Derek Jeter.

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Other trainers and coaches have said the following about him:

• Very athletic
• Great range (needed at shortstop)
• Positive attitude
• Good teammate
• Always gives 100%
• Works hard
• Loves the game
• Competitive

Most of these are requirements in my book. I often award the game ball to the player who has the best attitude and best effort for a given game. That’s exactly what I did during the first game of Fall Ball.

What I Want for Isaiah

He loves baseball almost as much as me at this point. He is light-years ahead of where I was at the age of 8. When I was 8 there were no real organized baseball leagues where I lived.

I would absolutely love for him to make it to Major League Baseball.

The Reality

I know it is a big long shot to make it to MLB. A High School senior has a .5 percent chance of being drafted. That’s 1 in 200.

Being drafted does not mean you make it to the bigs either. That just means a team is interested and you will play in their minor league system.

Your odds improve slightly if you play college ball. 11 in 100 are drafted, just over 10%.

What I would ultimately like is for Isaiah to receive a scholarship to play baseball, get his college degree and be drafted. The first part of this sentence is a lot more likely, especially given his academic abilities so far.

 

 

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Waiting for Judge to throw one to him. #NYY #JediJudge

A post shared by Scott Gombar (@scottgombar) on May 4, 2018 at 6:14pm PDT

The Next Level

I learned not to long ago that to make it to the next level of your baseball career you must be one of the best.

Let me explain.

Isaiah currently plays little league. This year was the first year he played at a level that had pitching required. They used a machine (fewer kids get hit by a pitch this way).

He’s been hitting pitching for a few years, so this was not a big jump for him.

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Next year he must move up again. He will face live pitching next year. To this point, I have been the only person to pitch to him.

He also must try out for the first time next year. I have seen some of the kids that play at this level. I don’t believe trying out will be an issue but there’s always that nagging feeling.

What I learned is to move up from level to level you must be one of the best 2 players on a team.

Cybermetrics?  Or Just the Odds?

There are 3 baseball leagues in my town. Each league probably has approximately 60 kids playing baseball in the different age brackets.

For Isaiah’s age bracket that would mean there are approximately 180 kids playing baseball in my town.

There are also 3 high schools in my town (sensing a theme here). Each high school team can have 20 players on the varsity team. If there is a junior varsity team then that’s another 20 players.

Let’s focus on just varsity because these are the kids most likely to get college scholarships.

That means in Meriden there will be 60 varsity players. This is 1/3 of the total number of kids playing at Isaiah’s level now.

We are not sure what we are doing for high school yet, he’s only in 3rd grade right now. We would like him to go to a private school. Baseball may help with this but that only highlights my point further.

One of the 3 high schools in my town is a technical school. He probably won’t go to this school but again we don’t know for sure. That means the number is now cut to 40.

He will be assigned a school based on where we live. That means the number is now 20.

20 out of 180 kids. That means 1 in 9 kids makes it to the varsity team.

The same is true of college-level baseball. 1 or 2 kids on a high school varsity team might make it to college level baseball.

As I said earlier just over 10% of college players get drafted.

Of those that are drafted 1 or 2 on a minor league team might get called up on average.

Do you see where I am going with this?

It’s a long, tough road filled with hard work, dedication, pain, sacrifice, and skill.

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Drive it Home (Pun Intended)

I tell Isaiah to be able to progress to the next level he must be one of the 2 best players on the field for that given game, every game. He must be one of the two best in training, in practice and in every aspect of the game.

I remind him all the time.

Most of the time he is not. He’s 8 and just wants to have fun. I completely understand. I am an adult and just want to have fun.

I reminded him again on Tuesday (our first Fall Ball game) that he had to be one of the two best on the field, for both teams.

Tuesday he clearly was.

He played shortstop as usual. He hustled his, well you know what, off. He fielded great. He made a few decision-making mistakes but that comes with learning the game.

His offense was good. He still needs to work on keeping his eye on the ball, but he was 2 for 4 and showed a little power for the first time in 2018.

Isaiah is small for his age. A proud moment this summer was being told he had finally crossed the 50-pound mark (barely). He’s not a big eater. So, any sign of power is a bonus.

He was focused. Intensely focused.

Every time he came up to bat the other team coaches warned their players.

“He’s a good hitter” “Watch Out” “Be Ready”

Some of the coaches have seen him before. They know what to expect.

He was clearly one of the two best players on the field Tuesday.

I did not award him the game ball. I have my reasons which I explained to him. He completely understands.

I did tell him that he was one of the two best players on the field for both teams that day.

Why Do You Care?

You’re probably thinking to yourself by now why is he sharing this with me? Why do I care that his son has above average baseball skills?

I don’t expect you to care. Here’s why I am sharing.

First, I am proud of his effort and dedication. So naturally, I want to share.

More importantly, the point I want to make is as parents we need to encourage our children to strive for excellence.

Izzy is my 4-year-old daughter. She started gymnastics last year. She was so good that they moved her up to the next level (5-8-year-old group, she was 3 at the time). She left other kids in her age group who have been taking gymnastics even longer behind. There were 5-year old’s in her original group. She surpassed them in a few short months.

 

 

 

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I’ve been trying to tell you it’s a way of life in the Gombar household. #baseballislife #BASEBALL #HappyMonday

A post shared by Scott Gombar (@scottgombar) on May 21, 2018 at 5:59am PDT

Isaiah excels at reading. He has been reading at a 6-8 grade level for over a year now. He is at or above grade level in every subject. We continue to push him.

When he started swimming lessons we switched him from one school to another because they did not challenge him enough. He was swimming on his own within a few weeks after the switch.

Children learn fast.

Children don’t comprehend limitations. Their limitations are put in place by parents and by their own ability.

Encourage them to be one of the two best on the field, in the gymnasium, in the swimming pool, in the classroom.

Encourage your children to strive for excellence.

Your child is not going to be good at everything. Isaiah also plays the piano. He’s OK at best. We continue to have him go to lessons because playing an instrument helps children with focus. Not just on the instrument but on everything.

We continue to encourage him to get better.

Now, before you tell me that my children have too many activities….

They also have plenty of downtime. Playtime is also learning time. We know that.

We balance it out so that they don’t crash and burn.

They get plenty of sleep as well. We understand the importance of rest and recovery.

We will continue to encourage our children’s pursuit of excellence. We will continue to encourage our children to be one of the two best no matter what they do.  They may excel.  The may fail.  They will try.

No!  Your Kid Does Not Deserve a Trophy [Go Ahead, Get Mad]

This will probably piss off some parents, but it needs to be said.  You might not like me much after this.  You may not have even liked me before.

I don’t really care.  Well, I do a little.

A recent poll was taken in a dad only Facebook group. It revealed that an overwhelming 87% of dads are not in favor of awarding trophies to everyone participating in a team or individual sport.

It’s not exactly a Quinnipiac poll but I believe it might be more honest.  Some of the comments were a lot more colorful than my blog post will be.

Let’s Start with an Example

I have been coaching my son in baseball for 4 years.  He is now 8.  We started in t-ball.  He is now ready to move up to kid pitch.  In fact, he’s more than ready.

He’s had extra training thanks to Ultimate Sports and the Hartford Yard Goats, and he almost always excels at the game.  He tends to play middle infield and is pretty good at it.  He’s an even better hitter.

When He Focuses!  Now pay attention…

I usually have 12-13 kids on a team.  At this age, they all play.  They all get to hit.  They all play in the field.

After every game, I award a game ball.  The game ball is not necessarily the best player that day.  It might be the one who played the hardest, had the best attitude, improved the most or made a key play.  These things usually tie together so it’s usually not hard to determine who will get the game ball by the end of the game.

I confer with my coaches and we decide.  We are almost always in agreement.

My son tends to lack focus.  I get it.  He’s 8 and he’s a boy.  I completely understand. That does not mean he’s going to be awarded a game ball just because he’s 8 and he’s a boy.  He must earn it like anyone else does.

Side note:  This is from experience.  Girls at this age are much more focused when playing baseball.

This past season he was skipped over for almost 2/3 of the season before he finally earned it.  Unlike a lot of other coaches who have their kids on their team I tend to be tougher on him.  He earned it because he played his best game as far as focus and effort.

What’s the Lesson?

He knows how my mind works.  Most games he will tell me ahead of time he did not earn the game ball.  He gets it.

Most of the time he knows who earned it.  He’s also very observant.

I don’t want to brag but my son is really a great kid.  He has his moments but overall, he’s a great kid.

I know a lot of parents probably say that, and I am probably a little biased but let me give you a few examples.

He does not get upset when he does not get the game ball.  Other kids do (not all of them).

He knows what he did wrong in most cases.

He is a great teammate and tries to pick up others when they need it.  He also sticks up for other kids, and he’s far from the biggest kid on the field.

He knows if he didn’t earn it he doesn’t get it.

Here’s what I want him to learn from not getting an award for mediocrity, or even losing.

• It’s OK to lose sometimes. Everyone loses.  Michael Jordan was cut from his High School Basketball team.  The best baseball players in the world do not get a hit 70% of the time.  Everyone loses.  If you reward loss with a trophy then you are saying it’s OK to be mediocre.
• Losing builds character. It makes you a tougher person in life.  Adversity will come.  Giving everyone a trophy does not prepare them for adversity.
• Losing the right way (meaning not throwing a tantrum or being a poor sport) teaches children how to be better adults. They learn how to interact with their peers even when things are not going their way.
• By not allowing children to learn how to lose you are teaching them that they should get every job and promotion they want, even if they’re not qualified, or didn’t earn it. You’re teaching them that they don’t have to put the effort into their school work because everyone should get an A.  You’re teaching them that mediocrity is OK when they should be taught to find their strengths and excel.
• Awarding a trophy to everyone diminishes the accomplishments of the children who earned the trophy.
• The children know that they did not earn the trophy. By awarding a trophy to everyone you may inadvertently create a rift between children.  Children are far more observant than most believe.

I do not want my children growing up with that sense of entitlement.  I want them to EARN everything they get.

My son gets it at 8 years old.  I don’t understand why that’s a hard concept for adults to comprehend.

My son has also played basketball and soccer.  He was terrible at basketball and was average at soccer.  He’s going back to basketball this winter after not playing for 2 years.

They awarded participation medals to everyone that participated in both leagues.  I understand the concept and was proud that he went out there and tried his best.  I get that the medal was for participation only.  I don’t want the wrong message sent.

When he was playing basketball we always went a little early (we do this for baseball too) because he knew there were things he needed to work on.  Arriving early meant extra practice time.

That’s what awarding a trophy to everyone goes against.  Most pro athletes will tell you incredible stories of how they worked to get where they are.  Some have stories of being told they were not good enough or would not succeed.

Most pro athletes will tell you that they have lost or failed and that the loss or failure motivated them even more.

When Isaiah loses or fails at most things he is extra motivated to get better at it.  He took it upon himself to learn how to swing from the left side because he recognized there is more value to a switch hitter.

He wants to show up earlier to get extra practice.

He now has a goal of being one of the two best players on the field during any given game.  That’s his goal after I told him the statistics of someone making it to Major League Baseball.

Stop Giving Trophies to Everyone

I know not everyone will agree with my sentiment.  I am by no means a high-level coach.  Ultimately my goal is to develop the kids into better players and teach them to have fun while doing it.

My 4 years of experience have taught me that kids know when they earn something and when they don’t.  My many more years of experience as a dad have taught me that kids will take what they can get and develop from that.

When I was in school I knew what I had to do to get by.  In most cases that’s exactly what I did.  I was a decent football and baseball player.  I did enough to get decent grades and make honors most of the time.  I did not try to excel.

As I look back at my formidable years I wish someone had taught me to not be average.  I wish someone would have said be one of the two best players on the field every game.  I wish someone would have said be one of the top 5 students in my class.

It would have made a difference in my early 20s, and it would have probably made a difference for the rest of my life.

The give everyone a trophy philosophy was not even prevalent during my High School and College years.  It’s just that no one told me to strive for excellence.

We’ve created a generation of now adults who think everyone deserves a trophy for everything.  We’re working on a second generation now.

At the end of the day, we cannot be good at everything.  Find what you’re good at and/or enjoy and excel.

Today, I strive for excellence in a few areas including preparing my children to be productive and successful members of society.

I don’t think I am a great coach, but I do think I am making a difference in some children’s lives.  When a child gets excited because I am their coach again, it means the world to me.  It means that the child understands they need to earn their trophy (among other things).

Do you want your children to put the effort into being successful?  Or do you want them to wait for everything to be handed to them?