End the Bullying Trend – A Personal Story

July 8, 2022/in Bullying, Podcast/by sgombar

Bullying is a very real problem in all stages of life but it starts at a young age. Dads, we need to do better in helping our children how to handle tough situations involving bullying. We also need to set an example for our children when it comes to managing stressful encounters, and how to be good citizens in school, in extracurricular activities, and online.

In episode 3 of the Dad Tax podcast, I talk about an incident my children were confronted with on the school bus earlier in the school year. I also touch on a few other topics that can help or hurt our children’s ability to do the right thing. We need to do better for our children through teaching and practice.

In the podcast, I mention two movies. Here are the books. I highly recommend your children read them.

Wonder

Pay It Forward

Transcription

0:00
Alright dads, it’s time for a little bit of honesty, a little bit of truth, truthfulness as a child. We moved around a lot, I went to many different schools. And one of the things that happens when you’re always the new kid in school, you get bullied. So I was bullied, sometimes relentlessly, depending on the age and where I was. It actually, believe it or not, the bullying pretty much stopped when we moved to a larger city, and I ended up going to an inner-city school, very diverse school. That’s when the bullying stopped. It was a you know, a couple of little incidents. But for most of my childhood, most of my elementary and middle school years, I was bullied. And I didn’t know how to take care of myself because, well, the whole reason I launched the debt taxes because my father wasn’t around. So nobody was there to teach me how to defend myself. How to protect myself how to take care of myself. Bullying sucks, and you know why kids get bullied because parents allow it to if we’re not involved in our children’s lives, and I’m not saying that this is 100% across the board, but in reality, it happens more than it should weigh more than should. Parents, especially your dads, teach your kids not to be bullies. Teach your kids to stand up against bullying. Welcome to the dad tax podcast a podcast for dads by dads a podcast for all things dads, including mental health, fatherhood challenges, relationships, sports, business, grilling, and more. So put on your white new balances sit back in your reclining chair, and let’s talk dads. All right dads, welcome to episode three of the dad tax podcast as you probably already assumed this is going to be about bullying. And I’m going to talk about an incident that one of my children experienced not too long ago this school year 2021 to 22. My two youngest are on the same bus. My son is was in sixth grade. My daughter was in second grade. So they’re on the school bus. For those of you that don’t know my children are interracial. So they are half black, half white. So my daughter has gorgeous, beautiful curly, curly, curly hair. beautiful hair. I love her hair, in most people compliment her hair. However, one day on the school bus, these two girls two sisters older than her, they were more my son’s age. started picking on her. And what they did was they poured water on her on her hair, called her a poodle and then said she was ugly. So the pool remark could be considered racist, and I do consider it to be racist. They probably recognize that she does not have what you would call white people hair and I’m being honest with everybody. If this offends you, I apologize. This is the nature of it. So they would notice her hair’s very curly. She doesn’t usually let it all actually my wife doesn’t usually let her hair out. It’s usually up in braids or in an urban. This particular day, she wanted her hair out and I don’t blame her. She’s got beautiful hair, as I said. So she had her hair out. These girls, these two girls poured water on her hair, called her a poodle and told her she was ugly. Now, I might be biased, but I think my daughter is beautiful. And I love her hair. And I think most people would agree with that sentiment. My son stepped in as any big brother should right there. These two are always at each other’s throats but he stepped in as the second time he stepped in, in her short school career, stepped in and told these two girls, he actually did not handle it 100% The right way but but I wasn’t upset with him and I’ll get to that in a minute, called the girls fat and told them to leave my daughter alone. One of the girls immediately from the bus called what I was told was her aunt to meet them at the bus stop because my son was picking on them. My son who just stepped in because his little sister was being bullied. Yeah, that happened. So the art again I’m not sure if it was the art but that’s what I was told I met them at the best bus stop

5:00
and begin arguing with my son, who at the time was 11 years old. So this grown adult woman decided to take it upon herself to meet her nieces at the bus stop, to argue with my son through the bus window. I don’t know she tried to come on the bus, the bus driver apparently told her she needed to step away, walk away. So I don’t know how that ended. Maybe the bus just drove off at that point. My children were one of the last stops so they get home. And they come inside, and I could see on my son’s face, I think he was a little more fazed by it than my daughter was that he was upset. Earlier that day, we received a message from the school that my son had done something amazing in school. I don’t remember what it was now. But we got a great report from one of his teachers at school. And he knew that he was coming home to this this, you know, we got this great report and he was going to be rewarded. And he was excited about that before this incident, comes in the door. He says not good. Because now I’m going to be in trouble. Okay, what happened? Ask him what happened? And he tells me what happened. He tells me the story I just told you. I said, Absolutely not. You’re not in trouble. You should not have called that girl fat. But I understand why you did that. I understand. And I was so almost all read. Dads I saw read as I’m sure you can imagine you would too. I wanted to go to this, these people’s house. I wanted to confront this woman. And I wanted to say, What is wrong with your children? Why would you do something like this? I did not. What we did do after we got the full story is we contacted the school and parents this is where where we cannot fill our children anymore. Because I do believe that some of this increased amount of violence that we’re seeing in our country in the United States, by young adults, talking 18 to maybe 25. is due to bullying. I’m not making excuses. These incidents of gun violence are horrific, horrific incidents. But what makes it you know, the psychologists will tell you that your brain is not fully developed until your early 20s. So why are these 1817 1819 2021 2223 year olds going to buy these, these weapons and showing up at a school or showing up at a public event or showing up at, you know, a church and just shooting indiscriminately at people. And I do believe mental health is a big huge part of it. And I do believe that some of that is because of what is occurring on a daily basis in schools, on social media with kids, or via text message via WhatsApp, Tik Tok. All of these things, I do believe that it contributes. We need to do a better job of curtailing it at a younger age. So now here’s what we did. We got we call the school, we demanded that we meet with the other family. The school did not want to do this. So we said all right, the school said let us handle it, we’ll address it. And we we let them address it. And with the stipulation that if they did not address it, that we would and we would go as high as we needed to go. I’m gonna tell you right now, dads, my wife and I, we are not the kind of people that will back down from something like this. We’re going to continue to push until it’s addressed. The school knows this because we’ve raised other issues not related to this, but you know, curriculum issues or lack of something in the school, things like that. We’ve raised issues with the school before they know we’re on top of things. And it’s exhausting. It’s tiring, and I get it you know, we work full time jobs and we have to deal with our kids. But you had children this is your job, Dad’s you have to stay on top of things. You have to make sure they do their schoolwork that they do the things they’re supposed to do around the house that they have. You know, they’re not spending all day staring at a screen. These are all the things we need to do. So the school said they would handle it. The very next day. My kids got an apology on the bus. Not from the arm but from the two girls.

9:57
I don’t think the art I ever talked to my son again, I don’t know, as far as I know, they did not. They got an apology from the two girls. We questioned the bus driver. Why, you know, why did wasn’t this brought to our attention the bus driver never. In previous years, if there was an incident on bus, you know, my son was acting up on the bus or in my acting up, I mean, he was just being loud as boys will do. Or whatever it whatever it might be. It was brought to our attention when my son punched a child, another child in kindergarten, who, by the way, was borderline bullying him, we got a phone call immediately. So we know that the school is capable of communicating with the parents when something is wrong. I don’t know why this particular bus driver did not address it, when it needed to be addressed when it should have been brought to my attention as they were dropping, you know, an adult, parent or otherwise a guardian is supposed to be at the bus stop when the bus drops them off. I’m always there when the bus comes. I don’t know why the bus driver didn’t communicate this incident with me. But the bus nonetheless, the bus driver didn’t. The next day, my kids got an apology, my daughter got an apology, my son, you know, he didn’t, he wasn’t the victim here. He

11:24
he’s the one to intervene. So, you’re probably wondering, okay, why am I doing this, there’s,

11:31
there’s a few different types of parents out there, there are parents that will say, Well, if my child is being bullied, they have the right to punch, you know, to hit you or to do what they have to do. So this is what I teach my children. If there’s an issue, if there’s a situation where you’re being bullied, you’re being picked on your, you know, whatever, anything where the behavior is inappropriate. We walk away unless you can’t walk away. That’s exactly what we should be teaching our children here, you walk away, unless you can’t walk away. If you’re cornered, then you have no choice. You cannot, you have to do what you have to do. My kids know this. They’re not violent children, they don’t get into fights. They don’t and they don’t bully. And I’m gonna get to that in a minute. You teach them to walk away until they can’t walk away. If they witness, my children know this, I’m going to I’m going to give you an example in a few minutes. If they witness someone getting picked on. intervene. Now I’m not saying go punch. The kid in the face the aggressor, don’t go punch that kid in the face. Don’t do that. Unless you absolutely have to, again, if you’re cornered, you don’t have a choice. There it is. My arms are up in the air. You can’t see that. But that’s what it is. You go over, you ask the other kid, is there something you know, you want to take a walk you want to go go to recess with me you want to eat lunch with me something you just get in between the bully and the bullied. And my son is now is obviously not 11 anymore. He’s a little bit older. But I know my I know what I’m teaching. My son is working now. My son is tough. He’s small for his age, but he’s tough. And he’s not going to back down. And I know this, because I’ve witnessed him not backing down in the past, if he you know, whether it’s a discussion that he has he’s passionate about, or whether it’s, you know, somebody being mean or whatever it is, you know, he plays he is an athlete, he plays sports, plays baseball. And he’s he’s dealt with mean children on baseball teams before. Recently, I was made aware of a friend of his this is a good friend of his who was being mean to another friend of his. My son said, My son told that friend, the first friend that was being mean, you know, that’s not cool. This is supposedly one of his best friends. That’s not cool. You can’t do that to your to to friends to people. You can’t do that to people in general, not not just friends, but to people in general. And I’m being intentionally vague, because I don’t know if the parents will hear this at some point. And I haven’t talked to the parents yet. But I’m intentionally being vague. So the one kid who’s my son’s very close friend, was being mean to another friend who’s who’s a good friend but not as close. And so my son said to the very close friend, you can’t do that. That’s being mean. He was going to go as far as to the next time that the three of them were to Gather he was going to set the example and say, This is how you’re supposed to treat people. My son also recently on a baseball game. This is when you know you’re doing right. Dad’s. His team was getting mercy diga ended up getting mercy. They were getting beat pretty bad. The other team was hitting homeruns they hit, I don’t know, two or three home runs. And every time one of the kids that hit a home run trotted around the bases my son gave them he was playing shortstop that day, he gave them a high five, you know, to say, Hey, good job. How often do you see that? That’s good sportsmanship. That’s teaching your kids how to treat other people. It starts at home dads, it starts at home, we have got to teach our children how to be better citizens in this world.

15:52
You cannot allow them to bully people. You’ve got to have these conversations all the time, I have been having these conversations with him for seven or eight years, nine years, I’m not sure anymore. It’s a long time. But now I see that it’s paying dividends. I see that he gets it. At a young age, he’s still in middle school. At a young age, he’s getting it, he understands picking on people because you know, they’re not as good at baseball or because they have puffy hair poofy hair, or because you know, their skin color is not the same as yours, or because whatever, whatever the reason is, picking on people because they’re not you is wrong. We’ve got to set the example dads, we’ve got to intervene, we’ve got to teach our children. This is how you treat people. Now I’m going through it with my daughter, she’s a little younger, and she is tough. Not gonna lie. She is a tough one. Meaning that she loves to argue her way is the right way and nobody else’s ways, right? A little bit harder than my son to deal with. on that level, my oldest daughter was a was a breeze compared to my two younger children. Each child is different. And we have to recognize that too, we have to recognize that our children are not the same. I don’t have the same relationship with my son that I do with my daughters. And each daughter is different as well. The different age, we have different, they have different interests. But you have got to teach them how to be good citizens, because at the end of the day, doesn’t matter what their interests are, or what they do for hobbies or what sports they play or what grades they get in school or who their friends are, or what movies they like to watch the they have got to be good citizens. And that will it will spread. You know, I teach my son how to be a good citizen. By sticking up for the kid or not even sticking up for the kid you see a kid he’s alone. You go you go play with them at recess or, and he’s done that he’s he’s absolutely done that new kid in the class. He’s out. He was at a grade this year. That’s tough for new kids. So this kid came in partway through the school year. It’s already been crazy the last few years. Thanks, COVID. Appreciate it.

18:14
But this kid comes in partway through the school year, my son made friends when we’ve got to teach our kids how to be better citizens.

18:25
So how do we do that? We teach them that violence is not always the answer is not always the right solution. You teach them that? If they have no choice, yes, it’s okay. You got to protect yourself. And then that’s how you’re going to teach these bullies that you’re not going to be bullied. It’s understandable, but even more, so. Maybe you don’t We don’t know what the bully situation is. How often do we hear that the bullies life isn’t so great. Maybe they have a tough home life. Maybe they are getting bullied themselves, maybe something else is going on. So try to try to try to flip the script. I’m dating myself there with that one, flip the script on them and show them that, hey, it’s okay to be friendly. Not so mean. But if that doesn’t work, then you know, walk away. It’s not worth the time, energy and effort. A lot of times, you know, if you do engage, you’re going to end up looking like the bad guy walk away. Again, if you are in a position where you can’t walk away, defend yourself. If you’re in a position where somebody else could use a hand, then give them a hand help them walk away or defend them. And I know that’s not really the optimal solution. And we all know that kids don’t understand the value of life. We get it. So it might be a little more difficult. If you ever get a chance to and you’ve never watched the movie. You ever get a chance to watch the movie pay a full Word or wonder, these are great movies to help you understand, you know, we’re not all the same and kids need someone to be there for them, someone to have their back. And, and when I say that, I don’t mean just parents I mean someone at their own levels, another child their age or maybe a little bit older, a couple years older, you know, if you’re in a middle school and maybe an eighth grader helps the sixth grader or high school senior helps a freshman, we see these stories all the time we see these stories of how football team comes to the rescue for a kid who’s being picked on, or things like that. And I’m talking about real stories, not just movies. So pay it forward, is a great movie to watch. It’s kind of sad, but it’s a great movie. And wonder, is a really good movie, that’s a true story. I don’t think Pay It Forward is, is a true story. But wonder is a true story. And will help you understand, hey, we’re not all the same. And we could always use a helping hand. So teach, teach your children to be better citizens. You know, go sit with the kid was all by himself, introduce yourself to the new kid. Hope your friends who are who are being picked on for whatever reasons, you know, they’re not as good an athlete or they’re not. Maybe they’re not an athlete at all, or they have weird hair. You know, my son’s hair is not like most of the kids in his class. He’s got different hair, and he prefers to keep it long. For now, that may change. He’s been called a girl more times than I can count. And you know what, by the way, that usually happens with adults, not with children. It’s usually the adults that call him a girl. And not that that’s a bad thing. But he’s not a girl. And so he doesn’t want to be called a crook. But he doesn’t say anything. He just lets it go. Teach your children how to let things go. Yes, there’s going to be bullies, we’re going to deal with bullies in every walk of life, school, work, college, sports, whatever you’re doing, there’s going to be bullies, we see it all the time you’re driving on a road. And this guy wants to get in front of you. What is he? What is he doing flashing his lights, he drives rides on your bumper. You know, that’s bullying. It’s bullying, he flips you off as he drives by. It’s bullying. Bottom line is bullying. And if you’re doing this in your children in your car, you’re showing them hey, this is okay. This is this is allowed behavior. And when you get the call from the school saying your child is picking on a kid because he wants to sit at a certain desk. And he’s you know, he’s yelling and screaming at them. Don’t ask where did they pick up their behavior? They picked it up from you. They learned it from you. When your kids swear, where did they pick up the swears? They learned it from you. They didn’t pick it up somewhere else. They learned it from you and you making it okay? By doing it in front of them. And I’m not here to talk about is swearing right or wrong? And what age should a child be able to swear? You know, what movie should they watch? I’m not going to do that on this podcast today.

23:13
What I’m telling you is if we don’t teach our children to be the bigger person to say, this is not a good behavior. This is not okay. It’s not okay to tell a seven year old girl that she looks like a poodle and she’s ugly and and pour water on her hair. Her hair that my wife spends a lot of time taking care of a lot of time because beautiful hair. At the same time, it’s not easy to take care of. She spends a lot of time daily that hair has to get done. So to do something like that. And the fact that is two girls that are I think around a lever. So they know better is clearly a bullying incident. These children know that. And I know that the school teaches how to be better people towards the other students how to be good citizens in the school. I know they teach this. So it’s not like they don’t know. This is behavior that is learned at home. And it’s evident when the AI approaches the bus and addresses an 11 year old child in an angry, argumentative and I don’t know if she swore or not. I don’t know what she said to him. But I know she was yelling and screaming. You don’t know the full situation. You don’t talk to a child like that. That’s not your child. You go and you talk to the school or their parents and you let the adults handle the situation. You did you brought yourself down to an 11 year olds level when you did that. That is not okay. That is learned behavior. Because now your two nieces learn this behavior from you and that it’s okay. We need to teach our children to do better and I could promise you that if that continues if if we teach our children to do better, and, and it kind of steamrolls, we’ll call it pay forward, we’ll use the name of the movie

25:16
more children will start to do this, they’ll be better people. And as they age up to get into high school, and to college, there’ll be better. Students, there’ll be better athletes, there’ll be better employees, there’ll be a better, there’ll be better business owners, they’ll treat people better. And maybe some of this crazy amount of violence, we’re seeing an insane amount of violence. And I’m not saying this is the solution. I don’t know what the solution is. I can’t tell you, I know what the solution is. But maybe it stops. Or maybe at least decreases. These things cannot continue to happen. I should not be always on alert. When I’m out in public. Grocery shopping, my kids are at school, go to a parade, go to a church, go to church. You know, all of these things I’ve done in the last few months, every last one of them grocery shopping church parade, in my recording this in summer, but they just got out of school a couple weeks ago. And every year every year there is at least one seriously thought of incident at the school meaning a bomb threat or the threat of somebody shooting up to school, in elementary school. Every year at least once there is a lockdown, meaning they take a threat seriously, at least once in elementary school. Why is that happening? And I do believe I don’t think it’s the entire reason. And I don’t think it’s the main reason. There’s some mental health issues that start when a child is bullied, or has a tough home life, meaning they’re beat up at home, or, you know, put down all the time. There’s a lot of variables, and I get it and I’m not a psychologist. But as somebody who’s been bullied, I can tell you, you get to a point where you get fed up, I got fed up. I got fed up. And I ripped a railing off a porch, you know, like those big metal railings that you that people hold on to, to walk up the porch. One day, you know, the five or six steps have ripped it out straight out and just started hitting a kid that was bullying me. And I was a freshman or sophomore in high school. That’s when it ended. That and you know, that was neighborhood kids. The bullying, you know, never really happened in high school. I was in a inner city school. I think things are a little different. For suburbs versus inner city. When it comes to those things. I definitely feel like it’s probably a little different. But this was these were neighborhood kids. I was new to the neighborhood. So they figured Alright, let’s go have some fun. And they did this a few times. And I got tired of it. Nobody was addressing it. No adults were addressing it. Not even sure my mother was aware of it. Single mother, you know, so not sure she was aware of it. And they will pick and kids will pick on you for any reason. You don’t have the right sneakers, your hair looks funny. Usually your skin color is not right. You’re too short. You’re too tall, you’re too skinny, you’re too fat. You walk funny, you got good grades, you have bad grades, they don’t care. They don’t care what the reason you’re the teacher’s pet. You You know, there’s so many variables as to why kids will get bullied. Enough is enough dads Enough is enough. I’m talking to you dads because you set the example. If you’re constantly angry and yelling at your kids, and putting them down and beating them up smacking them around this, that’s a learned behavior. They’re going to go to school and do the same thing. They’re going to go to school and do the same thing to some kid and it’s probably going to be smaller kid. You know, maybe a kid who’s who’s got some disadvantages. I don’t know. I don’t know what it looks like. But I do know that it’s going to continue it’s it rolls downhill. You know that you know that’s saying this is I can’t swear because this is going in Apple, but it rolls downhill. downhill. But not only that, we need to hold our schools accountable. I see it all the time. I look at posts on Facebook of you know, this school is not taking bullying, the bullying that’s going on seriously that school is not taking the bullying situation seriously. We need to hold our school administration accountable. We need to hold our children accountable. Make them good citizens. We need to hold our teachers accountable. You know I’m not asking your teachers, teachers, absolutely, you’re not raising our children, they’re teaching our children. But if they witness an incident and they don’t address it, if they don’t at least make the parents aware, then they’re culpable.

30:14
All right, we need to hold everyone, coaches. Anybody who turns a blind eye to bullying is just as guilty as the bully themselves. And if you’re a parent that allows your child to be the bully, if you are purposely allowing your child to be the bully, you have a problem, you have a big problem. And I could promise you there are enough of us out there that have had enough. Dads, I’m telling you get involved, and the bullying trend. monitor what your kids do on social media, I am a big proponent of watching what your kids do on the internet, big big proponent. I let my kids know, they know, they know I’m looking what they do, what their text messages look like. We have caught inappropriate text messages to my son from other kids before. But you know, bullying type text messages, very mean, mess messages for kids that should not have a mean an ounce of meanness in them. How does that happen? How did these kids get to that point at such a young age? So we intervened and told us eventually it continued, you know, we told them to tell the kids to stop. It eventually continued. So we eventually cut off all contact with those kids. We made them blocked the number and he’s no longer talking to those kids. They don’t go to the same schools him so it’s not that difficult to control that conversation. But if you don’t know this is happening. Then you have no idea what you need to do. You got to monitor your kids activities, monitor their moods, does it mood change? Do they have sudden sudden mood changes? Because something is going on? Talk to them. Talk to your kids, dads, talk to your kids. How’s your day? Good. Now force them to elaborate. I always force my kids to elaborate. Hey, what did you do? How’s recess? What did you eat for lunch? What How did sign? How was science class? How was camp today? What did you do in camp today? How did you perform in camp tonight, both of my kids are in their respective athletic camps this month. So my daughter will come home and spend an hour telling me what she did in camp. My son will come home and say camp was great. And that’s it. So I forced him to tell me more. You can’t possibly know what’s going on. If you’re not having conversations with your kids on a routine, regular basis. Don’t make the mistakes of our past parents, either not being involved, or thinking you know, it’s really easy. And I’ll be totally honest with you dads, with my son. I I catch myself saying no, he needs to be tougher. No, he doesn’t. He needs to see the right way to treat people. That’s being tough. That’s that’s being tough dads.

33:16
I catch myself doing this all the time. Or if he’s upset about something and he starts crying.

33:23
It’s okay to cry. We cry as men, we just don’t admit it. He needs to know it’s okay. It’s okay to cry for the right reasons. And when you’re in it, you can’t cry because I told you to put the police station down. But you can cry if something hurts, physically or emotionally. It’s okay. And in my brain, my brain first thought is, oh, this kid needs to toughen up. And I’m like, no, wait a minute. We need to change the behavior dads. We’re the ones right now. I give our generation credit. I think our generation and I’m talking about Generation X and millennials, for the most part here. I think we’ve done a good job of being more involved dads, I think the previous generation did not and I’m don’t mean to, to talk negatively about any generation. I believe all generations have their pros and cons. But I think the my father’s generation were not as a whole. There were a lot of dads that were not involved. Whether they were they may have lived in the same house, but they did not get involved with raising the children and nurturing the children. Or they didn’t live in the same house divorce rates skyrocketed, and they just took off and weren’t involved in their children’s lives. I think Generation X and down has done a tremendous job of turning that tide. Now let’s turn this tide. Now let’s say bullying is not okay. It’s time To end the trend of bullying. Okay, I’m gonna get off my soapbox for now on I’m sure that and once people hear this, some of you will probably take issue with it. You know, feel free to leave comments and I’ll address the comments as I see them. But I really hope that when you take this in what I’m saying, and we put it into this bullying, because it’s easier to bully children now than it was when I was a kid. And when I was a kid, you had to be done face to face, not anymore, gets done on social media and text messaging, and all these other platforms. So let’s end the trend. Alright, that was definitely an emotional episode. You know, I’ll try to do some lighter, lighter, themed episodes as we go forward. But I felt it was something that needed to be addressed. Boolean needs to be addressed. So this podcast is hosted on the dad tax.com We use Amazon Web Services to host the actual mp3 file. not making any money from Amazon maybe one day. Well, that’s not true. I do have an Amazon affiliate account. So if you’d be so kind as to go to the dat tax.com and click on one of the affiliate links in helped me make some money. That’d be spectacular. But other than that, I’m not making any money. I mean, I don’t know $65 So far this year on that. You can also follow us on social media, Instagram, Facebook, Facebook, we don’t have a page, we have a group. It’s facebook.com/groups/the Dad tax, Instagram, Twitter, both the DAT tax. So go follow us. And leave a comment. Whether it’s on the website or one of the podcast channels. You know, we should by now be available on all major podcast platforms. Leave us a comment or review. We’d greatly be appreciated and it’s time for a dad joke of the week. I’m a big Star Wars fan. So here you go. Why did the Jedi cross Why did the angry Jedi crossed the road to get to the dark side? Ha ha ha ha. I know. Funny right? All right. Until next time, we will return to weekly recordings. Now that vacation travel time is over. We’ll return to weekly recording. So see you next week. Or I guess you’ll listen to me next week. And don’t forget to collect your dad tax that’s two chicken nuggets for every 10 that are ordered. Don’t forget

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

The Side Hustles Episode

June 16, 2022/in Dad Tax, Podcast, Side Hustle, Uncategorized/by sgombar

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Inflation is at its highest level ever. Gas prices are also higher than ever before. The cost of food and other items needed in your home has gotten expensive. Our dollar doesn’t go as far as it used to today.

What’s a dad to do?

In Episode 2 we talk about side hustles. How can you make a few extra dollars every week with minimal impact on your family time and home life?

I talk about a few of my side hustles as well as some other popular options like Uber Eats.

I do some affiliate marketing, domain flipping, and purchase dividend-paying stocks.

What other side hustles would you add?

Here is the microphone I mentioned in the podcast – ATR2100x Microphone Kit

5 Things Your SEO Forgot to Do & How It’s Hurting Your Business

Transcription

0:00
When I was about 10 years old, I had a paper route. Now, you can’t do that these days, there’s not allowed anymore. But when I was 10, it was actually encouraged for my age group to have a paper. So I’d get on my bike, I’d go to the neighboring apartment community. And I delivered papers to I don’t know how many people’s, how many people but it was a significant number of few dozen. And I would also have to go and collect the payment for those papers every week in some paid some didn’t. Although, I guess I had a collections job at the tender age of 10. And then the Sunday papers, the Sunday papers used to be massive and heavy, and you’d have to put them together, they would just drop off a pile, you’d put them together and you deliver. It was a tough job for a 10 year old, but I did it and then did this job for months until somebody smashed out the windows and one of the buildings that I delivered to, and they blamed a 10 year old paperboy the paper fired me. I couldn’t clicked on employment because I was only 10. And I didn’t work again until I was 16. I had to find other ways to make money. In the meantime, my family didn’t have a lot of money. I did things like sell baseball cards, run errands for people, and so forth until I was 16 and got my first real job where I paid taxes and worked for 30 to 40 hours a week while I was in high school. Can’t do that these days, you got to find different ways to make money as a kid, if at all allowance maybe. But it’s an interesting conundrum. How do you make extra money at a time when single income just isn’t cutting it? Welcome to the dad tax podcast, a podcast for dads by dads a podcast for all things, dads, including mental health, fatherhood, challenges, relationships, sports, business, grilling, and more. So put on your white new balances, sit back in your reclining chair. And let’s talk dads. All right. All right. All right. It’s episode two of the debt tax podcast. I know you didn’t think we’d make it to episode two. But here we are, we’re recording it. And last week was pretty heavy podcasts talked a lot about men’s mental health and the things going on in the United States. And in some cases around the world. And how men are dealing with it, dads are dealing with it. You know, the focus here is dads. So we’re going to talk about something a little bit later sort of today. And it’s because we have high inflation, gas prices are through the roof and cost of just about everything has gone up tremendously. The topic of today’s podcast is the side hustle, what do we do to make a few extra dollars to try to survive in this economy? I know not everybody needs to do that. But most of us do. Most of us want to find extra streams of income. And they say if you want to become an you know, I’m gonna probably butcher this. But if you want to become a billion a millionaire, sorry, you need to have seven sources of income. And so obviously, we can have seven jobs, that would be insane. So I know people that do two or three jobs. And that’s a lot to manage, especially when you have young kids at home. And I know there are dads that were two jobs while the wife stays at home or there are stay at home dads, and we’ll do a podcast about stay at home dads. In the future. I’m kind of a stay at home dad. And then I’ll explain all that in that podcast in the future. I own a business, but I also have some other sources of income. So the question then is what could be a successful side hustle? What type of thing can I do to possibly earn a few extra dollars during the week to support my family better to put extra gas in a car, you know, maybe take your kids in the family out somewhere someday, or go on a vacation or have a better Christmas or whatever holidays you celebrate.

4:19
So all of these things come up throughout the year birthdays, birthdays, anniversaries, all of that comes up throughout the year. What can we do to earn a few dollars so that I’m able to provide better life we’ll say, again, I don’t want I don’t want the sentiment to be that you have to have all this money to have a great life. That’s not true. But things are a little easier when you have a little extra income coming in. And then the second part of the question is how do I have that second or third income without killing myself without having to physically you know, a lot of times those part time jobs are a little more physically meaning in the past, I worked at a FedEx warehouse FedEx facility, not aware also hub part time. And my shift was I think it was two to 7am. And that was after work in a second a full time second shift job. And that job, I hated that job. It was the single worst job I’ve ever had. And I’ve had some pretty tough jobs. I’ve worked in fast food for a while. I’ve worked retail before. I’ve worked other warehouse jobs, that I could not stand that FedEx job, and I quit within three or four months, it was just too much couldn’t couldn’t do it wasn’t sleeping much in the job, but just was miserable the whole time I was there and I probably had one of the easier jobs on the in the facility. I was quality control. So if I saw damaged packages, I put them to the side, fix them, if I could relabeled them whatever I had to do. But I hated it so much, I would actually get on the trucks and help them unload the trucks just so I could get out of there earlier. And I don’t know, maybe it was because it was a second job, I don’t really know. However, after that I got a second job, part time job in computer repair. The pay was less, but I liked the job. It was also in the morning, before I went to my second shift job. I liked that job. I did not stay there long, either. For various reasons. I moved on, and started my own business eventually. But those jobs were to supplement my income. That’s why they were there. I was on a probationary period at my full time job. And so those jobs were there to supplement my income. I’ve worked retail I worked at Old Navy for a few months and did not like that job. I was the only I think the only male there. What made it worse is I was probably late 20s, early 30s At the time, and it was all college age girls. And I know what your dad’s thinking, No, I did not enjoy it. It’s not fun. It was extremely boring. Still, FedEx is still my least favorite job of all time. So I didn’t last there alone either. And so the common thread there is those jobs, while maybe mentally are not that exhausting, physically, they’re exhausting. And usually that’s what happens when you have a second job, it’s usually not something you’d like to do, some of us get lucky and we can I get a job that we’d like to do part time job that we’d like to do. So in the case of the computer system. To computer job, computer, it was mostly computer repair job. And I was mostly fixing Apple, which was great, because I wasn’t that familiar with apple at the time. Now my company, we do support Apple computers, because I am familiar with it. So to that, in that respect, it was helpful. But all these jobs, the common thread, again, they were physically demanding. And you know, after working eight plus hours every day at another job, didn’t didn’t want to do it. The other job was a call center job, not physically demanding, except that you are sitting all day that can be that can be very bad for your health. But it was mentally exhausting. And so maybe combine the two and you have a problem. So so how can you make money without killing yourself? How can you do that? What is the what are side hustles that will work. So I know some people do some network marketing, or you might hear it referred to as pyramid schemes. Some companies are a little more respectful than others. And I did do Beachbody before so that was Shakeology, you may be familiar with it, and p90x and things like that. They didn’t really have much success with it. Not much of a salesperson, I guess. So that’s another thing. Do you know, some of us are not good at sales. So we don’t want to do that. But network marketing could work if you’re good at sales. If you really work if you’re good at sales. I know someone who does network marketing for a wine clean wine company, I forget the name of the company now.

9:17
They do quite well. I know people that do it for Send Out Cards. And I actually did sign up for Send Out Cards for a little while. And they do quite well. I didn’t do well with it. And again, it’s probably because I didn’t have my heart in it. So I found a few things that I’ve that I have interested in and have relative some success with. The first one is affiliate marketing. So how does that work? You create links. You sign up for programs. Let’s start with that you sign up for a program so I’m going to use Google Adsense as the one I one of the ones that I use. And I use AdSense because I don’t have to pay can choose what I want to put on the on the website or what I want to send. And it’s mostly on websites, I don’t have to pick and choose, I just put the code in the website and it automatically generates the ads. And that’s what affiliate marketing is that you’re putting links on a website, or depending on what the program is, you might be sending links to people. Amazon has a common one doesn’t pay as well as others, but it is an easier one to manage. And I do do Amazon affiliate marketing. So I’ll get to that in a moment. So the AdSense is really as you go, you sign up, if you have a website that you have out there. You sign up, you and you create, they approve you based on your website. content, so you can’t have like a spammy website, it’s got to be a real website. So it could be a blog, you could be writing about something. And some blogging could be another source of income. If your blog and your social media becomes popular, then you become a, an influencer, you may actually get paid to advertise certain products on you know, lately, it’s Tik Tok, or Instagram reels and things like that. That’s a way to make some income. You have to have some time to do that blogging is not an easy job. You could potentially do tick tock and take off depending on your content. I know there’s there’s a tick tock I follow. It’s just him and his his his dog Doberman Pinscher dog, and he’s doing quite well, he’s doing great with it. You have to raise the dog, though you have to home train the dog, you have to train the dog to do the things that he does. And you have to have the time to do it. So yes, it still can be exhausting. But if you enjoy doing it, as this person obviously does, then you can make some money with it. So the back to the affiliate marketing, or the in this case to AdSense for now. So he put the code on your website in key spots. So you know, you read 1000 1000 word blog, you put it in a couple spots during the blog, somebody clicks on it. And I’ve had some success with that, you know, a few $100 a year. I probably make from that. And the other one, the other two things I’m doing. I mentioned already Amazon affiliate marketing that I’ve had more success with. And the reason I’m more successful that is I do reviews of certain products, put the links back to those products for Amazon, you have to sign up for the affiliate program, you put the links in, and people come to your blog and click on those links. But even better than that is if somebody I always get asked, you know, what’s a good computer or what’s a good microphone I use, I have this microphone. This microphone. I love this microphone, I actually went and I’ll put a link to it in the podcast notes. But it’s a an ATR 2100, I broke the first one I had somebody gave it to me as a gift. I went and bought another one, even though there’s newer mics out there now for about the same price. I bought another ATR 220 100 Because I’m sorry, ATR 2100. Because I enjoy that microphone. I think it sounds good. And I like using it. I’ve had other microphones and they sound like garbage. So I’ll put a link, of course, it’ll be my Amazon affiliate link. So you know, go click on it and help me earn a few more dollars. But people ask me for recommendations, so I’ll send them to Amazon links and networks, that works great. I’ve made more money in Amazon in one month than I’ve done in ants, AdSense all year. So that’s another way to go. And Amazon almost always has what people are looking for. So somebody says, hey, I need a laptop. I do work with distributors, I go to the distributor, and there’s a wait for laptops. So I’ll go to Amazon and say, Well, here’s the laptop and you can get, you know, in a couple days. Here’s the link. I made more money in Amazon in the month of April, I think than I did on AdSense or last year. So that’s another good way to make money. Now the third way this is a little bit just some might say controversial, I don’t think it is, but some might think it is.

14:08
And that is domain flipping. I take domains, I look for domains. So I’m going to talk about the most recent one I sold. I had a rival dad’s dot com. And then I don’t remember where if I found that and I did initially plan on using it. And I changed my mind and decided I wasn’t going to use it. Because I just don’t have the time I have I don’t know of my own sites is probably half a dozen up that I have to manage. Including the dad tax I have to manage it. It takes time it takes you know, just the maintenance of the website takes time. So factor all of that in if you’re going to do website if you’re going to do any affiliate marketing, you need to have time to manage the website content. Not all of my websites do affiliate marketing, the dad tax does and there’s another affiliate A review site that I use. Anyway, so you buy a domain, like I said, I bought rival dad’s dot com, I initially was going to use it, I changed my mind you, here’s the trick, you have to find something that you think could be high value. Like rival dads.com, I said, Well, that’s pretty cool domain name is two words. And it’s got its, you know, you see posts all the time, if you’re in dad forums, that dad, Facebook groups, or whatever, you see people talking about rival dads all the time. So, so cool, I’ll buy that domain. And initially, I had planned on doing something around, you know, Yankees versus Red Sox, or Green Bay versus Chicago or stuff like that. And I was that was going, that was a podcast idea. And I was going to do that. And I changed my mind, just don’t have the time. And so I sold. So I bought the domain originally for $12 Sold it for 600. And this is domain flipping. So I probably have about a dozen or so domains right now, all valued at around somewhere between 750 and 2000, I think the highest one is 2000. That’s the value that the appraisal that was put on it. So I still I’m working on selling all of them. So you have to the trick is to find a domain that you think could be a value. And then flipping it. So you buy it for $12, which is about average price for a.com. I usually only stick to.com. But you could go through dozens and dozens of domain extensions. Now top level domains are called so dotnet is common.com.com is the most popular dotnet.org.us, those were some of the more some of the original ones. Now there are dozens and dozens and dozens of them that are out there. And so you find when it’s high value, usually high value means either either one or two words, you know, real words. Or if you could get like a three or four letter domain, those are considered high value as well. So I have some domains out there for sale. And rival dads is the one that most recently sold $600. From a $12 investment, it’s pretty good return. Now, sometimes you’ll go and you’ll search for domains, and they’ll say that, that it’s a premium domain, and they’ll say they want you know, 1000s of dollars for it, then it’s not worth it. Because you’re probably not going to get that money back. Not like you would a $12 a year investment not a big deal. You know, $10,000 initial investment could be a big deal for you. And unless you plan to use it for something that you know will make you more than $10,000. It’s not really worth it. So I say stay away from now that $10,000 or whatever it is, that’s an initial investment. After that, they charge you the normal yearly domain rate, which is somewhere between usually between 12 and $15, depending on the top level domain extension. So dot coms, I think around 18 year now, depending on where you buy them from. So those are the things I do now for a little bit extra income. Among other things, I occasionally do build websites. That was a primary business model a few years ago, not anymore. My primary business model is it. I call it proactive it we try to do everything before anything happens. Which is essentially a managed service provider. That’s the primary business model. I still occasionally build a website here and there if I have the time, because it is time consuming for me. And so what are some other things that you could do? Well, you know, if you listen to Gary Vaynerchuk, Gary Vee, you could buy and sell sports memorabilia, baseball cards is the big thing for him. But sports memorabilia. You know if you happen to catch, you know, the guy that caught Todd Brady Tom Brady’s what they thought was going to be his last touchdown ever because he said he was going to retire and then sold it. I don’t remember what it was. I think it was half a million dollars.

19:03
Unfortunately, Tom Brady then said he wasn’t he was going to come back. And I think that forfeited the sale or he had to give the money. I don’t remember what it was. But anyway, sports memorabilia could be worth something you don’t have out there GT rookie card here. I could flip it. I paid almost nothing for it. I could probably sell it for one or $200. Now I think I used to do that a lot more. I don’t anymore. I had 10s of 1000s of cards and I had some very high value cards. But they disappeared in a move many years ago. And I just never got back into it after that. But that’s another avenue. In sports memorabilia seems to be growing, not just the cards, but all types of sports memorabilia people collect when they knocked down Yankee Stadium the Oakland stadium would put up the new one people collected stuff from the from Yankee Stadium. Could that sell today probably. The Aaron judge bobblehead that I got a Jedi Knight Judge bobblehead from I think it was pre COVID. So I’ve seen them on there was a giveaway for the first so many 1000s of people in Yankee Stadium one night. And I see them on eBay, eBay now going anywhere between 60 and $100. You know, no investment, initial investment other than going to Yankee game, you’re probably gonna go to anyway. And you could turn it around and make $100 on it. sports memorabilia. I see people that will do auto detailing on the side, there’s a gentleman down the street from me that does auto detailing on the side. And he picks charges, I think 100 and something dollars per car, depending on what how bad it is, and what kind of car it is. And he does this on his spare time after hours after work or on the weekends. And you always see more cars up there all the time. So he’s making some money with that. Here’s the side hustle that I sometimes partaken. And it’s easier than you might think. So, stocks. The key here is don’t become a stock investor unless it’s really something you want to delve into deeply. Because it takes a lot of research a lot of time, a lot of energy. And you have to know how financial markets work. And I really don’t have the time or energy to or desire to want to do that. What I do know is that dividend stocks are great investment vehicles. So I’m going to use one that I that I have purchased some of in the past. And Microsoft, Microsoft is reasonably priced when you compare it to other stocks like Apple, Amazon, Google, things like that. Tesla, dividend stocks simply mean, they pay a dividend and usually quarterly for you to own that stock. So if you purchase, you know, 100 shares of Microsoft, you then get paid quarterly to just to hold that stock, and then the value of that stock goes up. You don’t have to pay. By the way, seek a tax professional, don’t take tax advice from me, but you don’t have to pay taxes until you sell those stocks. And that so that, you know, there’s the benefit in doing that. Now, let’s say you say you don’t want to buy Microsoft, I don’t know what Microsoft stock is today. But let’s say you don’t want to buy Microsoft, you don’t like Microsoft. So it’s actually up to almost 245. Almost today, I didn’t pay that much for Microsoft ticket paid one something when I bought it. You want Amazon. And so let’s say Amazon stock is see Amazon was actually trading at 140 did do a split strike Google, one of them is still really high, I don’t remember who it was. So you you you want to buy this expensive stock. So Google is 2148 92. Right now $2,140.92 a share. But you don’t have $2,000 to invest in Google stock in one stock. That is well, you can get an app called stash and purchase. So on it always went to Google stock. So then you don’t own a full share your own on it, I was worth and you still make. If it goes up 1%, you make 1% If it goes down 1%, you lose 1%. If they pay a dividend, you still get whatever percentage of one share you own in dividends. So if they pay $1 dividend you would get and you purchase 10% of a share, you would get 10 cents. Doesn’t sound like a lot. But as you purchase over time, you will make some money and don’t have to do anything is passive income dividends. Another way to take or to make some money is to take online surveys.

23:48
haven’t really tried doing this, I think I may have done one or two in the past you but you could get paid you can earn up to you can earn a few dollars per survey, I don’t know what the the actual dollar amount. So you’d have to do a lot of surveys in order to make some money. And the problem that I found with this is that sometimes those surveys include ads, and it gets to be annoying. And you know, trying to control the amount of ads. It’s really difficult to manage sometimes. So if you could find a good service site that will pay, that’s great. Do that. No other way to earn some income on the side. Some people do UberEATS DoorDash. And what is the other one called? I don’t remember what it’s called right now. But there’s a few of them. So Uber Eats DoorDash probably two of the more well known ones. And this is a great service. So there’s been a lot of talk about how unsafe Uber and Lyft can be because you don’t you don’t know who you’re letting in your car. And I get that. So if you do Uber Eats, you’re not letting anybody in your car. Your car’s gonna smell like food at the end of the day. But you could clean that out and make a few dollars delivering Uber Eats or DoorDash now where that becomes a problem only it could become a problem is, you know, you got to try to stay in your geographical area. So if you’re not in an area with a higher population with a lot of restaurants, you’re probably not going to do that well. But you also got to consider the wear and tear on your car gas is, you know, in some areas now is over $5 a gallon. So these are all the things you have to consider when you’re doing Uber Eats. So try to stay geographically close to where you are, if you can, or pick an area and just stay in that area for the night, or the day doing some deliveries and make some money. Some people do quite well with UberEATS and DoorDash. And other services, others do not. So it really depends on the timing of the day. And the location. If you’re not in a more popular more populated area, with a lot of restaurants, you’re probably not going to do too well. So you know, take that for what it’s worth, it’s not hard to sign up, you just have to show that you have a reliable car, I think insurance, obviously and a valid driver’s license. So those are some ways some other ways to make money. Another way you could be a co an umpire. So for my, my son plays baseball, and the umpires make anywhere between 50 and $75. A game a lot of games are doubleheader. So now that you’re making now you’re making anywhere between 100 and $150, just to a baseball game, or two, depending on the day. So you’re out there for four hours make $150 You know, that’s a little less than $40 an hour, that’s not bad at all, if you find the right League, do that, you know, do three, four games a week, you’re making a couple $100 That it’s cash, almost always cash in your pocket. So go up in game got to know the game, obviously. And I’m sure you know soccer and hockey and football are probably similar in nature, you get paid to up or ref a game. Basketball was another one. So you go do that and make a few extra bucks. And you get to enjoy the game day at a game to got to wear a lot of gear and it could get hot. But still, it’s fun, get to maybe do a little coaching on the side. Now here’s one I’m considering and sort of started the process. And I’ll tell you, you have to have a you have to have energy, I guess it really depends. So writing an ebook, on I have a few ebooks out there. But I only have one on Amazon in the one and Amazon was put there just to see how the self publishing process works because I am planning to write some legitimate books. So the one on Amazon is not really a book, it’s something I put together to try to generate an email list. Many years ago, I took it made it a PDF, put it on Amazon created an ebook, and actually sold one. And I don’t even know how that happened. But I sold one. I got it. I have it on Amazon for $1. So I get 35 cents every time it’s sold. So you know if I can get a couple million of my closest friends to go there and buy it. That’d be spectacular. Just look for me on Amazon, Scott Gombar. But I’ve been asked to author a book on on dads haven’t gotten around to that really, I’d write a lot of blogs, but not so much on on the book end for that. And I am also started writing a book on social engineering, I guess, just the short story. It’s not exactly that, but it’s sort of that. And it’s really a book about how to protect yourself against social engineering scams and all the different ones that are out there and so forth. And so that’s my goal is to put that on Amazon, I wanted to get it done by the end of the year, but I had just have not worked on it in a few months. But this is another way you can make money. You don’t have to write a big book, that’s this book I’m planning on being pretty large book.

29:03
You could write a smaller book and put it on Amazon and make a little bit of money. There are people that I know I know someone who wrote a LinkedIn book a look a book about LinkedIn. And she’s done okay with it. She put it on Amazon as an e book. And I think you can also set up Amazon to have physical books delivered. And she does okay with that. The problem with doing a book on LinkedIn, you’re gonna have to rewrite it every time there’s an update to LinkedIn. It’s a lot of work, but it is something that can be done I guess in a sense, the book I am reading could also be the same issue. So there may be a dad or two book a book or two about dads in the future. I don’t know yet. I’ve thought about writing some fictional books. Probably not really that creative when it comes to that so I don’t know that I could do that. But it’s crossed my mind. This is another way you know sell online workshop. If you are good at something I know people that do workshops on cooking, on SEO, which I could also do. The, by the way, the book on the eBook on Amazon is about SEO, it’s the five things your SEO forgot, and what it’s called, and how it’s costing your business, something like that. I don’t even remember the title see. But you could sell online workshops. If you’re good at a topic, create an online classroom for it, and sell it. So what a lot of people do is they do the initial one live recorded and then put it on Udemy. You can use teachable you can get, you can actually have a free account on teachable. But this is, you know, you could do this at home when the kids are asleep. Spend an hour or two at night recording or writing or whatever. You could do virtual assistant. Somebody’s looking to post stuff to their social media, all the social media platforms, now it’s possible to schedule the posts out, you’re charged to schedule the posts and make a few dollars. Now this is not same as social media manager, a social media manager comes up with content creates the content schedule, the content plans everything out ahead of time. You’re just taking the posts and scheduling them. That’s it. You’re not creating them. You’re not doing anything creative with it, you’re just scheduling that’s what a virtual assistant might do as a virtual system, I take phone calls, they’ll do anything like an office assistant would do really. The other thing I would add probably one more thing for for the dads out there, you could cut grass. So I will tell you in my area of the world Central Connecticut, it took me years to find a reliable landscaper to just cut my grass for the most part, they do mulch every now and again are seeding. But for the most part, they’re just cutting grass and into cleanups fall and spring cleanups. All of which don’t take a lot of knowledge of landscaping, the landscaping stuff, you know, that’s complicated, but cutting grass is not super complicated. And in the years we’ve been in this house, we’ve been here now for 10 years. For probably four or five years, I tried to find a landscaper to do it, to cut the grass clean up in the fall in the spring and put down mulch as needed and seed. And if they didn’t show up, they did a horrible job, I wouldn’t come out and do it a horrible, horrible job of doing it. Or I had another guy told me he he’s not going to do it because he couldn’t get a stand up mower through my gate. The gate wasn’t wide enough. It took me until last year to find someone to do this. And that turned out to be a friend of mine who started a landscaping company. So find a few neighbors who don’t want to take the time to cut their grass, cut the grass for them and make a few dollars. You know, if you find five or six neighbors that winter grass cut every one to two weeks, depending on where you are and how much rain you get. You can make a few $100 every week.

33:09
It’s manual labor, but doesn’t take a lot of a lot of brainpower. I used to enjoy cutting the grass and really, it’s about time really at this point. I just don’t have the time to do it. Because I have all these streams of income right. And I record these podcasts and hopefully these podcasts when he doesn’t know the way to make money, start a podcast, find some sponsors and make some money on the sponsorships. I don’t have any sponsors, counting on all the affiliate revenue that might come from the site and maybe one day I’ll get a sponsorship. But that’s another avenue podcast. I’ve got one last bonus for you. Again not a lot of brain power involved long as you have a GPS and a little bit of muscle I guess sign up for amazon flex you can deliver packages with Amazon flex for up to $18 an hour. If you go to a website actually says 18 to $25 an hour but it all depends on I suppose the area and a few of the variables but it isn’t you know somewhat easy way. Again considering wear and tear on your car and gas being what it is. It is a way to maybe make a few extra dollars to help with the bills around the house or plan an extra vacation or plan your your holiday and birthday giving your anniversary givings and things like that. So go out there I’ve listed I don’t know how many different possibilities for side hustles get out there make a few extra dollars because Lord knows we all need it right now. The economy is is inflation is through the roof and everything is just extra rent somewhere. It cost us an extra $460 a month now versus last year to live right now. That that’s insane. That it cost that much but you see it you see it in gas I buy a gallon of milk I can see it. I buy I buy water Poland spring gallons by the K In the price of that is the highest I’ve ever seen. Just to give you some examples, things that are in short demand, you know, baby formula was an issue. Now they’re saying Siracha sauce is a serratia, I think it’s Siracha is going to be short is going to be a supply chain issue with that now, because there’s not enough peppers. So all of these things prices go up. And we’ll make the same amount of money we did last year, the year before, probably still, because of the pandemic, most a lot of us did not get raises, I have not raise my rates in business. So that’s something you know, kind of on the back burner, I don’t want to really do that to my clients, but it may be necessary. So we have to find other ways to supplement our income. And so these are, I don’t know, I think I listed about a dozen or so side hustles I’ll count them up later. And we’ll we’ll include that in the list on the on the website. But these are some ways to make some extra money. So if that is where you’re at and you need to make a few extra dollars, then hopefully you find someone on this list to help you and if you have questions, happy to answer them for you. Go out there and be the dad you know, I know you could be this has been the dad tax podcast hosted at the dad tax.com. We have blog posts and other cool dad stuff. Go check that out. Find us on social media, we are on Instagram. We have a Facebook group, go check out the Facebook group it’s facebook.com/groups/the Dad tax join the group if your dad dads only. We’re going to be starting tick tock and so lots of fun stuff going on. For the dad tax. Of course this podcast and eventually we’ll have guests. So it’s time for your dad joke of the week for people are heading to Hawaii on a plane, a pilot, a lawyer, a priest and a kid. Suddenly the plane starts shaking and begins to go down. Searching around the cabin they find only three parachutes. I have a family and a daughter who’s expecting since the pilot before anyone can stop him he grabs a parachute and jumps off the plane. The lawyer says well I’m the smartest man on earth, so I deserve to live. He also grabs a parachute and jumps off. Now there’s only one parachute left the priest notices this and tells the kid son go ahead and take the last one. I have lived my life. The boy looks around the plane. We can have we can both live. How the precess because the smartest man in the world just jumped out with my backpack. So until next week, enjoy

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

STEM is for girls too! A side of confidence boost.

June 12, 2022/in Children, Dad Tax, Review, Science/by sgombar

Disclosure: Some of the links in this post are affiliate links and if you go through them to make a purchase I will earn a commission. Keep in mind that I link o these companies and their products because of their quality and not because of the commission I receive from your purchases. The decision is yours, and whether or not you decide to buy something is completely up to you.

STEM is for girls too! A side of confidence boost to go along with it.

My youngest child and by most accounts the diva of the family is finishing up her second-grade year. Earlier in the year, she announced her love for art and science. The art we’ve known about for some time and have encouraged her to continue with it. She is very artistic in a lot of ways.

Until this year she has not shown a lot of interest in science. Since her announcement and because I know women have been pushed out of science for a long time, I have done everything I can to keep her interested in science.

She is determined to find out why the dinosaurs went extinct. She has learned the different theories but says she will find the truth. Who am I to argue? I am not one to tell a child not to pursue their dream no matter how difficult it might appear. Her dream is to find out how dinosaurs became extinct while becoming a world-class gymnast, famous dancer, singer and actress, and veterinarian.

Now if only I could get her to clean her rabbit’s cage.

We support every one of those dreams whenever we can.

One way we have kept her interested in science is through a subscription service called MEL STEM kits. Every month she receives a STEM project that she must read about, put together, and get it to work on. She’s probably completed 6 or 7 now.

Initially, the plan was for us to work on them together, and we did for the first two. Now she doesn’t even wait for me and completes them as soon as they arrive.

The first kit she received was a hydraulic jack. It still sits on her nightstand in working condition many months later.

Since then, she has completed kits with 3D glasses, a cannon, and one involving lights and refraction, to list a few. She has learned a lot on her own and takes great pride in completing the projects. She has shared a few of them for show and tells at school.

The most important aspect of her being able to complete the stem kits (on her own) is she is building confidence. One day someone will tell her science is not for girls, and she will have the confidence and experience to tell that someone they are wrong.

MEL Science kits also include an app that allows kids to continue learning (for life) with augmented videos. What child doesn’t love watching videos?

MEL STEM project kits are great for younger children, but the fun and learning don’t have to end there. MEL also has:

MEL was named the BETT Innovator of the year and received the EdTech Cool Tool award as the best VR/AR tool of 2020. These science kits are fun, educational, challenging, and great for building confidence in your children’s ability to complete projects.

My daughter cannot wait until she receives the next one. They come once a month and she usually completes them within a few days of receiving them. She takes pictures and sends it to her teachers, shows us the completed project, and explains what it does and how it works.

To put this into perspective, she received a microscope and slides for Christmas (to encourage her in science). They remain in the box 6 months later. She is extra motivated by successfully completing a science project, and she is learning while doing them.

My daughter has always had issues with self-confidence. She often believes things are impossible until we finally convince her to just try. MEL STEM project kits have given her a boost of confidence not only in showing her she can solve complex problems but also in speaking intelligently about scientific topics.

Months after completing one of the kits she will still show it to other family members and explain it as if she just learned about it the day before.

MEL has done more than teaching my daughter about science. It has helped develop her confidence and piqued her interest even more in the world of science.

Now about that rabbit cage.

Men’s Mental Health Month

June 11, 2022/in Health, Mental Health, Podcast/by sgombar

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

I was not aware until a few days ago that June is Men’s Mental Health Month. Of course, I know about Movember (I partake in it every year) but I had no idea that June was Men’s Mental Health Month.

It seemed like the right time to finally launch the Dad Tax Podcast. In the first episode, we talk about men’s mental health, why it has become so critical, and why it’s important to address in the wake of Uvalde, the pandemic, and other day-to-day struggles for men.

Did you know that men commit suicide at a rate 3.88x higher than women?

We also talk about ways to recognize depression and how to address it instead of burying it deep inside. It’s time to take men’s mental health seriously.

Suicide statistics

Men’s Mental Health Statistics

Signs of Depression

Psychology Today

Transcription

0:01
When I was much younger, I didn’t know how to swim. And prior to my father, he pretty much completely disappeared from my life. I was in a lake in Connecticut, and I don’t recall the lake I don’t recall much about that day. But I do recall one thing, getting in over my head literally getting in over my head in the water. And I didn’t know how to swim. So it was learn to swim or die that day. I don’t even remember how old I was. But I had to be pretty young. And I did learn how to swim that day, underwater. And eventually, I learned how to swim, you know, like, above water and how most people know how to swim. But it was out of fear. In that moment I had to learn to either swim, or I was going to drown. There were no lifeguards, and I don’t think my father was paying any attention. Not that that’s a surprise. I’m not here to bash anyone. I’m here to tell you a story. And the story was all I learned how to swim. Because if I didn’t learn how to swim that day, it wouldn’t be here today. That was 40 some odd years ago. And it’s an interesting tale of the conquering of fear because you don’t have a choice. So begs the question, if we don’t have a choice, but to end something or conquer something. What do we do? Do we run? Do we accept defeat? And take our licks? Or do we face that fear head-on and conquer it Welcome to the dad tax podcast, a podcast for dads by dads a podcast for all things, dads, including mental health, fatherhood challenges, relationship sports, business, grilling, and more. So put on your white new balances, sit back in your reclining chair. And let’s talk dads. So welcome to the first episode of the dad tax podcast. And the intention of this podcast is to talk all things Dadon. Sometimes the conversation will be light-hearted and fun. Sometimes the conversations will be very serious, as I intend to do today with the first episode. It’s kind of ironic that we’re starting on men’s mental health month, I was not even aware that June was men’s mental health month until just a couple of days ago. And I’ve been meaning to launch this podcast for a while. And I saw that and then the events that unfolded at Uvalde at Robb elementary school just a couple of weeks ago, as I’m recording this. And it really got me to think in his time to start this podcast because there are some very difficult conversations that need to be had in our country, in as men and fathers, things that need to be talked about, and dealt with. I’m one of those being men’s mental health. But also, it’s time to look at the gun issue in this country, the fascination that we as a country have with guns, and mostly speaking about these automatic rifles. And I won’t say that I’m an expert, I am not an expert on on guns by any stretch but I just think that any gun that can be used to shoot and kill dozens of people within minutes is just unnecessary in a population. But we’ll get to that shortly. I don’t mean this to be a political podcast, that is not the goal here. I’m not going to argue whether or not the Second Amendment is still necessary. And really the focus of this is more about the mental health of men of all ages. Because it was age-wise it was a man that did the shooting. He was he had just turned 18. So legally, he’s he’s considered an adult male, a man in this country. But also the fathers that had to withstand the trauma of the shooting those that lost children a day and those that had children inside the school and they had to wait to find out if their children were okay. So I’m going to come from a sort of a personal angle on this. And I’m going to start with I heard a story and I don’t know if it’s true. I’ve been trying to verify it, but I but I have not been able to independently verify it. But I heard a story of a father who was asked why he was not crying. And his response was I can’t cry, this is the father of a Uvalde Victim.

5:04
I’m I don’t know, if I’m saying it right, you’ve all the victim. And he said he can’t cry and the person who asked him why he’s not crying, I said, Well, why can’t you cry? Of course, you could cry. He said, No, I cannot. He said, Look, everybody around me is crying, I have to be the strong one, I have to be the one that people count on and can lean on during this time. That sums up fatherhood. In just a couple of sentences. Again, I don’t know if that’s true. If that was really asked, I heard it somewhere, I don’t know where I heard it on the radio or something. And I have not been able to verify that. So I don’t know for sure if it’s true. So I’m going to tell you about an incident at my kids’ school. So I am a father. I have three children and a grandchild. So I have a 26-year-old daughter, who has a son who’s about to turn four. I have a 12-year-old son and an eight-year-old daughter as I’m recording this. So the two younger kids are, of course, in elementary school, sixth grade and second grade this year. And at least once a year, there is a threat of you know a bomb or something in the school. And of course, again, this year, there was a threat. There was a rash of threats around the country, I think around the same time. And I don’t recall what it was if it was gun violence, or if it was another bomb threat. Which just goes to show you how incensed we are to these things at this point. But I do recall that they evacuated the school and you know, they were either the kids could get on the bus, or we could go pick them up. Now I have the fortune, the good fortune of having some flexibility in my workday. So I went to pick them up. And when I arrived at the school, there were cop cars everywhere. There were cops at the entrance in and I think they were probably going through the school. And I gotta tell you, some emotion came over me it’s a scary scene to see cop cars lined up at your kids’ school. And they were actually checking cars as they came in, I think to see if there were bombs on them or something. I don’t really know what they were checking, but they were stopping cars and checking them including me. This is scary. And this is not something a child should have to endure. And it’s sad that my 12-year-old son, he pretty much gets it where as my daughter, not so much. She doesn’t really get it yet. She kind of does, but not exactly the emotion that comes over you. In this kind of scenario, it’s unbelievable that your children have to go through something like this. And there was you know, it turned out not to be credible. I think they kept armed police at the school for an extra couple of days. And they do have guards there in the school at all times. They, but the range of emotions that you feel you feel relieved that your kids are okay, but you also feel sad that they have to go through this. Now imagine how a father feels after something like Uvalde or Sandy Hook, which happened right here in my home state of Connecticut. I think it’s been 1213 years now. I’m not sure when No, I think it’s less than I think it’s been nine years. Yeah, I think it’s nine or 10 years now. So Sandy Hook, the same type of scenario. guy went in with a gun, automatic weapon to get more than one gun automatic weapon killed, I don’t know the numbers, but I believe it was 20 children and six adults or something like that. Why does it happen? Why does it only happen here in the US? Yes, I know these things happen in other places around the world, but not at the frequency it does here in the US which is supposed to be a world leader supposed to be a country that other countries look up to. And we’re afraid to send our kids to school. So now let’s wrap in men’s mental health. So here we have these school shootings, and really mass shootings constantly. Every few days there seems to be another mass shooting their shot up a prime, a predominant Lee black grocery store in Buffalo for no other reason. Except that it was mostly black people in the store in a black neighborhood. And most of the shoppers were black My children are half black. So something else I have to look out for. So they’re mixed.

10:06
They’re interracial children, black and white. And something else I have to worry about for my children. They’re black, and they’re also interracial, which some people don’t like. Yes, it’s a real problem, who says you might be listening to this podcast and say, That’s not a real problem. Those things are not here. They’re still here. And I’ve seen it firsthand myself. I’ve heard some of the comments. I’ve heard comments when my son plays baseball, I’ve heard some comments from other people, and I just choose to not address it at that point in time. It’s not the place at baseball game is not the place to do it. My son’s baseball game, but I hear the comments. I’ve my wife has been pulled over. Because she was black. She has been stopped at work bringing case files to her car, because she’s black. It does happen, and you don’t want to believe it. And I guess more power to you, but it does happen. And I consider myself an ally. I’ve used what I call white privilege to step in and intervene for, for not what I call white privilege. It’s white privilege. But I’ve used it to intervene in scenarios where there was some injustice. But my children are black, and they’re interracial. And also my grandson is also interracial. And so that could potentially be a problem, a bigger problem somewhere down the road. I don’t know. Um, but I hope it’s not. I hope, you know that generation changes. And I hope that they never have to confront those things. But I can tell you, my daughter already has Fortunately for her, my son was also there to intervene.

12:04
At eight years old, she was seven at the time, seven years old. Now, we’ll talk about that in another podcast. So that weighs on parents. The focus of this podcast, the dad tax is on dads.

12:23
men’s mental health. So what does it mean it’s not taken seriously enough, the highest rate of suicide in this country is men. Bottom line men by it’s not even close men, because we don’t have an outlet. I know that mental health is spoken about more now today than it ever was for for all walks of life. But there is a stigma with men. Men are supposed to be the strong ones. Men are supposed to be the tough ones. Men keep everything inside. And we do we keep a lot inside. And there’s various reasons we keep that inside. You know, some of us had rough upbringing some of us on, I don’t feel like we have anybody we could talk to. There’s just so many reasons why men feel like they cannot express themselves or go to see a therapist or mental health therapist. My wife is a mental health therapist, and I can’t go see her. She’s, you know, too close. But I know. I’m around people that are that are psychologists, mental health coaches I’ve in a BNI group I belong to there’s a mental health professional. A really good friend of mine is a mental health professional. Two of my clients are psychiatrists. So I’m around mental health professionals all the time. And they will tell you, Yes, you men should seek mental health services. It’s not quite that simple for the vast majority of men in this country still today, in the United States, men, actually I’m not sure if it’s the United States or if this is around the world, but men died by suicide at a rate 3.88 times more than women. The highest rate of suicide is middle-aged white men not talked about a lot. On average, there are 130 suicides per day, almost 70% of suicide deaths in 2020 were white men, and firearms accounted for 50 Almost 53% of all suicide deaths. Again, the gun problem, but you know, we’ll leave that out of the equation for the moment. 93% of adults surveyed in the US think suicide can be prevented but how? We got to take mental health a little more seriously. Let’s take it a step further the man and I’m using air quotes here that committed the mass murder is involved, he probably wouldn’t even be considered a suicide. It’s he was shot in, in the commission of a crime, so it probably won’t be considered suicide. So the rate is probably even higher, even though he probably went into that school knowing he wasn’t going to come up. And let’s talk about men’s mental health a little bit. Again, June is men’s mental health month. So this is important. According to a poll of 21,000 men, by researchers at the National Center for Health Statistics NCHS, nearly one in 10 men reported experiencing some form of depression or exam and anxiety. I think it’s higher than that. I think that men may not recognize the symptoms either and suppress it. Now, this also says that less than half of them sought treatment. Again, the rate of suicide for men versus women men is 3.8 times higher. Depression When left untreated, can in some cases reach a crisis point of suicidal contemplation. I think women, there’s a stigma for men, when it comes to mental health, we’re supposed to be the strong ones. And in some cases, women don’t help with that. They, further that stigma, I think less now than they used to, but I think it still occurs in relationships. Six in six and 10 men experienced at least one trauma in their lives. Again, that may be higher, I think men tend to suppress it. Some men don’t realize that a traumatic event happened in their childhood until later in life,, they suppress it to the point of not remembering it. Men are almost two times more likely to binge drink than women. And also have higher rates of alcohol-related deaths and hospitalizations. and are more likely to have used alcohol before dying by suicide. Alcohol is a depressant. So whatever you’re feeling is going to be magnified if you’re drinking 49% of men feel more depressed than they admit to the people in their life.

17:17
I again think that number might be higher. And more than 1000 Men revealed the truth that many assume men are much less likely to voice struggles with mental illness, and even thoughts of suicide. This was a survey on the Today show.. They surveyed more than 1000 Men reveal the truth revealed the truth that many assume men are much less likely to voice struggles with mental illness, and even thoughts of suicide. I would venture to guess the number of men who have thought about suicide at least once in their life is in the 90 percentile. I don’t have any statistics to prove that I don’t have any evidence of that. But I would venture to guess them. So we come we combine the fatherhood aspect of this. So our job is tough, right? There’s a there’s still that stigma of men don’t play an active role in their children’s lives. It still exists today. Even though it is so much more prevalent today than that men are active in their children’s lives. We you know, we participate. We in we play with our kids, we take them to their activities, we help them with schoolwork, we teach them that there’s so much we do with our kids so much we do it our kids and the father’s role in a child’s life is critical. And it has been proven time and time again, you can go do the research that I father’s place in a child’s life is critical to that child’s success in life and could prevent future generations of this exact problem. Mental Health. I don’t know the shooter’s story involved. I do know that he lived with his grandparents. He had some kind of disagreement with his grandmother supposedly and shot her in the face. I’m not sure if she had last I heard she was still alive. I don’t know if she has or not, but does not sound like his home life was the greatest. And I’m not suggesting that we coddle our children. I don’t believe in that fully, I think yes, discipline and structure are important, but also support in softness in those things are also important, you know, and I think having both parents play an active role in both supplementing and in the supporting of our children, building them up, you know, teaching them, that they can accomplish things, helping them, show them how to accomplish things, sometimes given them that a little bit of a nudge, a push, to help them accomplish things on their own, you know, to help them become better citizens in the future that’s important. Does not sound like the mother or father was in the Uvalde shooter’s life. And in the case of the Sandy Hook shooter, I believe he was living with his mother, not sure where the father was. He did have mental problems. And I don’t know why the mother was collecting so many guns either. I just don’t understand why people have to have so many weapons for what, what do you need it for? But that’s again, we’re not here for that. We’re not going to talk about that. We’re talking about men’s mental health. So we have this, I’m going to use myself, I’m going to be the guinea pig here. I have children that are interracial. They’re black, and they’re white. You know, my Well, my wife is Haitian, I am half polish half Italian. So they got a little bit of everything in them

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has not been a big issue. Like I said, my daughter did have an incident on the school bus. Earlier in the school year, my son was there to intervene. So didn’t really go too far. We got involved right away and Zoltan got squashed. Shouldn’t have happened I live in what is considered a progressive area should not have happened. But it did. My wife’s had a few incidents, I’ve had some strange looks when we’ve been out. I can tell you about an incident in South Carolina, where we were in an Italian restaurant. And I had my nephew who was 100% Black with me and he had to go to the bathroom. So I took him to the bathroom, being the only adult male there. And I got some crazy looks in an Italian restaurant. It happens it is still it’s still a problem. So I have to worry about them. I have to worry about every time I go to school, could something happen. And I can’t. After that shooting and Uvalde My mind went off the deep end speaking of men’s mental health. And for days, I just could not stop thinking, what if my daughter, my youngest child was faced with that situation. And her final thoughts. That’s all I kept thinking about. That is not an easy thing to think about. She’s a tough kid, but she’s she just doesn’t comprehend something like that yet. And I don’t want her to she shouldn’t have to. But that’s something else. We have to worry about men’s mental health, our relationships, you know, our wives or girlfriends, our significant others, whatever they might be. You know, there’s relationship struggles, financial problems. These are all things that men take in. And they let it sit and sit and sit until until we one day erupt. And that eruption could be violent in nature. It could be suicidal in nature, it could be depression, it could be so many different things road rage. I hate to say it, but maybe another school shooting or grocery store shooting? I don’t know, you know, what? What is the breaking point for someone to get to to do something like that? Did they always have mental health issues? Supposedly the Uvalde shooter never had any reported mental health issues. So whether it was he just undiagnosed? Or did they suddenly happen? Was there a snapping point and breaking point for him? The if not addressed enough, you know, in Uvalde, again, the it is a primarily Spanish speaking part of Texas, and being men in Spanish speaking. I can tell you that south of the border in the US, you know in the Caribbean and South America. men’s mental health is not a thing. They don’t believe in it. So it’s possible that it was just overlooked. I don’t know if the shooter was was white or Hispanic, I’m not sure. But it could have been overlooked. It could be that the he did have problems. There were noticeable problems. But nobody addressed it because it’s that stigma again. men’s mental health. We’re supposed to be tough. We’re supposed to just suck it up and deal with it. But that’s not realistic anymore. We have a problem. We have reached that breaking point in this country. And maybe around the world I don’t really know It needs to be addressed, it needs to be taken seriously. And I don’t, I think, you know, it got a little bit of a shove, this June. And in October, I’m sorry, November, not October, October is Cybersecurity Awareness Month, which is another big month for me because I’m in it. But November is also known as Movember, or No Shave November. And it’s the goal of November is to raise awareness for men’s health issues, mental health being one of them. And then you have a couple of forms of cancer that they try to wait raise awareness for, but men’s mental health is a big one. So I was unaware of June being men’s mental health. Now I know. Now we have something to talk about every June, and every November now, but we’ll be talking about it all year round on this podcast. So I’m going to try to make this a weekly podcast, I’m going to be honest, I have another podcast that I was trying to do weekly as well. It’s called the human element.

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I have not been able to do that weekly. So I may not be able to do this weekly too, I will give it my best go. It is something I’ve wanted to do. For some time. I been asked to write a book, actually a couple of books one about fatherhood. And another one about cybersecurity. So, the cybersecurity book is started. It’s an I’ve been off of it for a couple of months now. Because I have been so busy in business. Speaking of men’s mental health, though, so I’m burnin had, I have a business now, the business in it and cybersecurity. And the business is about three and a half years old. The third years really when start things started taking off for me, which is great. But it also means writing work and a lot. So I will tell you, if you get into business, your own business, because you think you’re going to work less Guess again, you’re going to work more, you are going to work far more than you would in a nine to five. And that could affect men’s mental health too. And I know that more and more people are starting their own business. It’s great because I have flexibility. So if you know kids need me to pick them up at school, I can go do that. If when they have when my son has baseball games, and my daughter has gymnastics or dance, I can bring them I have that flexibility. Both my wife and I and I both have that flexibility where we can schedule around our children’s stuff, which is great, but we both work a lot. And mental health will take a toll if you’re not getting enough sleep. It will definitely take a toll sleep is important. Extremely important. And I don’t think enough people you know, some people will say well, if you’re if you’re sleeping more than four hours or five hours a night, you’re sleeping too much. That is a crock of you know what I’m trying to keep it PG for the for the Apple podcasts people out there, I don’t want them to flag my podcast. So this is what I will tell you. All right, I’m gonna start wrapping this up now. I will tell you, as a man, find a mental health professional and talk to them. Most insurance coverage, most insurances will cover it. Find a mental health professional psychologist and talk to them about anything and everything, you may uncover some things. So, you know, my story is my father wasn’t really around for most of my child. My years of growing up, my years of influence was not around. I’m not getting into the rest of the story for for this podcast for this episode. But someday you’ll hear the rest of the story for my upbringing. i By most accounts, wasn’t the greatest upbringing wasn’t the worst either, was somewhere in the middle, I would say in the bottom 30% or so. Had a lot to overcome, for sure. And I did seek the help of a professional for a little while. And it still was hard for me to talk. It’s not something that I think men in general are not able to express themselves, like they should be able to express themselves. But I would challenge you to do that. I challenge men, especially fathers so that you can end that cycle. Find a mental health professional, it’s really easy to do. I think there’s a website called Psychology Today. I mean, just verify that that’s right for you where you can go and you can find someone in your area that takes your insurance in go talk to them, schedule an appointment. I will tell you that, that mental health therapists are also overwhelmed right now there have been lots and lots of clients. As you can imagine, speaking mental health to COVID pandemic has also created a huge mental health problem with children. So don’t tell your children to suck it up, they need to talk to so many of you if you see signs of depression, anger, frustration, anxiety. And you can’t help them didn’t find someone who can. And it is Psychology Today, there’s a link at the top that says find a therapist you put in your zip code. Find a therapist in your area that takes your insurance. Go talk to them. You know, even if you only go a few times that the psychologists will tell you, the therapist will tell you if you should continue or not. In my case, she she didn’t feel like we needed to continue. So we stopped. But there are times when I feel like I need to talk to someone. So you need to talk to someone you need to find someone don’t, you know, if you don’t want to talk to your family about it, maybe it’s easier to talk to someone else, I

31:08
don’t know, maybe you find a friend to just talk to the friend. You know, I have a lifelong friend that I occasionally talk to about some things, we mostly just rag on each other. But you know if something serious is coming around, then we’ll talk about it. But either way, talk now, you also need to be able to recognize the signs that you need to talk to signs of let’s say, let’s say the signs of depression. Okay. So some of the signs of depression. And again, I am not a mental health professional, but I’m around people all the time. And the only real experience I have a psychology one on one in my own life and that of my friends and things like that. But showing you know you have a feeling of lost interest you you’re not interested in the things that you used to be interested in. Here’s the big one increased fatigue, you’re always feeling tired, but you also have trouble sleeping. You’re restless at night. Feeling anxious. So, nervousness restlessness, always feeling panicked, rapid heart rate, rapid breathing, more sweating, muscle twitching. Those are all signs of anxiety, irritability, if you’re easily irritable, irritated, which is not a good thing to be if you have children really is not good. You need a lot of patience that when you have children, and trust me, you need a lot of patience, changes in appetite and weight. And I will go so far as to say either no eating at all, you completely stop eating, or you binge eat, like you’ve suddenly eating donuts all day long. These are these are, these are problems that should indicate depression, or could indicate depression, uncontrollable anger or crying. These are signs of depression. So you suddenly find yourself in a fit of rage. And you have no control over it. Or you find yourself crying, and you have no control over it. You don’t know why you’re doing it. And it just just jumps on you it just comes out of nowhere. You know, why is that happening? This is a sign of depression. Thinking about suicide. If you’re thinking about suicide, you need to seek help now. But if you see any of these symptoms in your life, or in somebody’s you know, in their life, they need to seek help. It’s enough enough with the with the stigma is right it’s time to stop, stop burying everything stop keeping everything in stop assuming you need to be tough all the time. Go get that help you need Do you know what the real hero is the real heroes the one that goal goes out there and find someone to talk to to help figure out what is going on and how to stop it. And and that curse in your in your family in your cycle. And the cycle you know I I ended the cycle of the father not being around in my family. And that cycle in your family and the depression and the stigma of men not being able to talk about their problems. If your wife for or significant other isn’t able to talk it out with you then find someone who can. Alright there’s people out there to do this professionally. Allow them to do it. They’re good at it. You know, look for someone with a reputation of being good at it. Especially those that have a history of working with other men and let them help. It is men’s mental health month and it’s time to take a seriously we have a lot to deal with. Okay, coming out of a pandemic, these mass shootings, especially the ones in the schools. Raising children is tough by itself. Marriage, dating, relationship, life, all of these things are tough to deal with. So I hope that this podcast reaches someone and help someone today. Go to Psychology Today and look for a Find yourself a psychologist or therapist, it’s pretty much one in the same so get the help you need, and stop living with that stigma. It’s not helping anybody, especially you, or your children is now helping you children. If you have children again, this is a father podcast. So I’m assuming that the majority of the people listening to this are fathers. So that is it for the first episode of the dad tax. I will try to have a lighter episode next week. But again, I we will talk about men’s mental health a lot on this podcast and I will try to have some experts come on and discuss it with us. I think it’ll be helpful. And I think, you know, if

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we can just help one father, then that’s all that matters to me. So until the next time this has been a dad tax podcast this will be hosted at the dad tax.com where they’re also blog posts and other father related stuff dad related stuff, including dad jokes, and you know, just a lot of dad related things. So go check that out. And let me know what you think the dad tax.com And here’s your sort of your dad joke for the for the week. I asked my son how to spell way. He said w a y. I said, Well what about the F? He said there’s no effing way. As he’s saying that it can hit a groan there is no effing way. I said okay, cool. You’re grounded. That’s your dad joke for the week. Till next week, everyone

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

Dad Hack 4 – Protect Your Kids Online

February 28, 2022/in Dad Hacks, Online Life, Tech/by sgombar

Dad Hack 4 – Protect Your Kids Online

Cyberbullying and Child Predators are Lurking Just Behind Your Cable Modem

How do you protect your kids online?

At this point, it’s probably no secret that I am a fan of technology. I work in IT and have tons of gadgets.

Then it should come as no surprise that my kids are all about tech as well, primarily gaming.

YouTube is a favorite in the house. For me, it’s a tool to educate and promote. For the kids, they watch some YouTubers all the time.

All these things require the internet. Gaming on a PlayStation or Xbox. Playing on the iPad or Nintendo switch. The internet is needed for most of them to work correctly.

Games like Roblox, Among Us, Minecraft, and Fortnite are super popular with lots of kids, and yes adults, playing them.

All the games I just mentioned have a feature that parents should be wary of. They all have the capability to chat with other users of the game.

This blog post is a cautionary tale based on a real event and my acute knowledge of the technology world’s dark side.

My son is very social. He loves to talk to people and won’t miss an opportunity to make a friend. He no longer plays Among Us but did for a while. He would also chat with people on Among Us. (Hold your judgment until you finish reading this blog).

He began chatting with a young girl around his age on Among Us. Within a very short period (less than a day) they took this conversation to text messaging. My son has an iPhone SE because of an incident at school a few years earlier. That’s another blog post entirely. Let’s just say it’s sad what our kids must endure in school these days.

My kids know I will check up on their activities on all devices. My son’s phone and daughter’s iPad are also monitored for what apps they use, where they are, and how long they use them. We do not let our kids use their devices whenever they want. There are rules and restrictions.

There are so many reasons to do this. Child predators and cyberbullying are two of the biggest.

The day after he started this new friendship with a girl from Among Us, I spot-checked his text messages. Sure, enough I saw the out-of-area code text message with no name attached to it. I scan the text messages and see that the girl had sent him a picture. She was a very pretty young girl. First red flag. I’ll get to that in a minute, but it immediately raised all kinds of alarms.

The second red flag was the text that immediately followed her picture that said, “Get a makeover and send me a picture”. Does that sound like something an 11-year-old girl would say to a boy? I didn’t think so either.

I asked my son about the conversation and innocently enough he thought there was nothing wrong with it. I explained to him that this person was not who they claimed to be. I put her picture into Google Image Search and sure enough, this picture was a stock image used all over the internet. How would a preteen boy know this, right?

I explained what was more likely happening. This was probably a child predator looking for new victims to groom. We had a long conversation about some of the dangers that lurk on the internet.

Parents be Vigilant

Predators and cyberbullies are also having fun on Among Us, Minecraft, Fortnite, and Roblox. They have different motivations than my kids have. The internet is a great resource for games, information, work, school, and a lot more. It’s also a very dangerous place. The aforementioned games are not the only games with chat features and not the only places on the internet where very evil people seek out victims.

Cyberbullying and social media are big problems on social media as well. It’s also harder to monitor on TikTok or Snapchat. Games like Madden, Grand Theft Auto, and many more allow online chatting and communication.

Some parents will argue that I am violating my kid’s privacy. They’re not adults and my job is to protect them. I will do whatever it takes to make sure they’re OK. Your job as a parent is to create a safe space for your children, to raise them to be productive citizens, and to provide a better life than the one you have.

You cannot create a safe space if you have no idea what is going on in their digital world.

Dad Hack Number 4 – Keep Your Kids Safe Online

I get asked a lot about how to protect your kids online. Here are a few pointers.

Beyond the monitoring, tracking, and restrictions we have in place for our children’s screen time I also routinely check their activities. I check messages on all apps. I check browsing history. I check pictures and videos taken and downloaded. And I pay attention to their behavior. Changes in behavior are a sign something is off.

Here’s the important part. I am honest with my kids. I tell them I am going to do this and why. The internet is a dangerous place and I just want to make sure they’re safe.

I am not naïve. I know kids are tech-savvy and can hide things which is why I also monitor and approve app installs with the profiles I set up on their devices. So many parents set up devices and never put any parental controls on them.

We limit screen time, especially on school days. It is unhealthy for anyone to stare at a screen for an unlimited amount of time. Devices are locked/blocked at bedtime to prevent any temptation or activity that could be damaging. You could take this a step further and remove the devices from their rooms.

Gaming systems are in public areas of the house, not in their bedrooms. They don’t have TVs in their rooms either.

Again, the key to the success of this is transparency. Be open and honest as to why you are doing these things. Help them understand the dangers that lurk on the other side of your cable modem or 5g connection so they can also recognize and protect themselves. Help them understand too much screen time is extremely unhealthy. They need physical activity. Teach them to talk to you about what they’re doing when they are online. Spend time watching or playing with them when they are online. But be transparent about your motivations.

Summary of How to Protect Your Kids Safe Online:

Be Transparent with Your Kids
Monitor Everything
Spot Check Activity, Especially Messaging and Browsing
Content Filtering Wherever Possible
Create Parent/Child Accounts
Limit Screen Time
Gaming Systems & Computers Should be in Public Areas of the Home
Don’t Assume

Our kids deserve to be safe at home, at school, and online. Do your part!

Read Dad Tax 3

The Weight Loss Journey…Again

February 2, 2022/in Dad Tax, Food, Health, Uncategorized/by sgombar

The Weight Loss Journey, 2022 Version

Some of the links on this site are affiliate links and if you go through them to make a purchase I will earn a commission. Keep in mind that I link to these companies and their products because of their quality and not because of the commission I receive from your purchases. The decision is yours, and whether or not you decide to buy something is completely up to you.

It has been an ongoing struggle for years. That’s the truth.

And there were times that I just didn’t give a damn. And it shows.

I love my pasta, pizza, and burgers but they are probably killing me, at least at the rate I am eating them. I knew it was time to make a change but I have been down this road before. I even succeeded once or twice in reaching my goal weight.

I haven’t been happy with how I looked or felt for years. While this might sound like a corny New Year’s Resolution, it’s not. I needed to make a change for my health, and for my kids. I started about 2.5 weeks ago with a change to my diet.

Before I get into this blog post I should tell you I am far from a nutritionist or health expert. I just knew I had to make changes to feel better, so I did.

I should also point out I have been declined life insurance coverage because my A1C was high. I was able to find alternative coverage but couldn’t afford the benefits I wanted because of my type 2 diabetes. I am now on a mission to beat it and not let it control me.

I have also come to realize that I eat horribly when I am stressed out. A lot of sweets, carbs, and fried foods. Recognizing why you eat and what contributes to bad habits is the first step in making a change.

What Changes Did I Make?

The first thing I did was quit sugary goods cold turkey. No more cookies, cakes, cupcakes, or cannolis. I stopped eating ice cream and candy. This was one of the hardest things to do. I often stopped at a convenience store and grabbed water, 5-hour energy, and some kind of sugary product.

The irony was the 5-hour energy was because I was tired, sometimes exhausted. The sugary product was because I was stressed, and caused me to feel tired to a point where I felt I needed a nap. The struggle was real.

I started taking multivitamins late last year to help build up my immunity during the pandemic. Also ironic is two weeks after I started taking them I caught COVID-19. I am still taking them and they have definitely helped me feel healthier. It’s an affordable way to build up immunity and increase your energy naturally.

I take GNC Mega Men every morning.

Check Availability & Price

I used to eat a bowl of oatmeal every morning, with a tablespoon of peanut butter. I love peanut butter. Peanut butter is loaded with sugar though so I cut this out in the morning and now drink a smoothie with fruits and vegetables. When I can find a peanut butter not loaded with sugar that still tastes good I will probably go back to oatmeal in the morning.

I eat a healthy-sized lunch loaded with veggies and usually chicken or fish. I have cut out red meat for now. And dinner is usually a protein shake or meal replacement shake.

Most importantly the sugary snacks have been eliminated. If I feel the need for something sweet I will eat a granola bar or something along those lines.

I have been on a water-only diet for years and drink at least a gallon almost daily. This is not a challenge for me. I did not have to cut soda or juices because I was not drinking them anyway. I can tell you when I first stopped drinking soda I lost a lot of weight very quickly.

I also eat very few carbs now. I haven’t been eating pasta at all which is very difficult for me. I don’t eat bread or rice. I substitute it with Quinoa. This is the brand my wife usually makes. It’s good and I don’t miss eating rice at all because of it.

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There are days that there is not enough time between the kid’s school and their activities to make dinner so I will treat them to fast food. I used to eat it too but have completely cut that out as well. This is something I am working to eliminate from their diet too. I will blog about that at some point down the road but I do notice a difference in attitude when they eat it.

How Is It Going?

It was hard to get started but it is getting easier now. I don’t have as many cravings as I did when I started. I am learning to drink more water when I feel the urge to eat a snack and to handle stress a different way, one of them is getting back to this website.

The worst part of the day tends to be the end of the day. I typically go from 5:30 am to 11 pm every day between the businesses and the kid’s activities I don’t have a lot of time so snacks always seemed necessary. I am so busy until after the kids go to bed that I don’t usually pay attention to snacks until then. Then I realize I am hungry and want a snack but I don’t eat after 6 pm now.

I definitely lost weight but I don’t know how much. My scale is broken but I went down a belt size. I also have more energy and cut down on the amount of 5-hour energy I take. For instance, I have not had any today. There were some days I was drinking one every 5 hours.

What Are The Results?

As I mentioned already I have not been keeping track of my weight. I do feel better with fewer aches and pains already. I definitely have more energy. My shirts are starting to fit better and I went down a belt size so there are some measurable differences.

The increase in energy leads me to believe my A1C is also lower but I do not have a way to measure that at home. I am planning to get a physical soon.

I have a long way to go and just today I started doing some exercise. I did a few push-ups. If you read this blog then you know I was running for a while, until I got injured. I want to get back to running at some point but the gym is too crowded in the COVID world, it’s winter so outside is not ideal, and my treadmill broke. But soon hopefully. I will continue to increase what I can at home.

In short, eating better foods, less food, taking in more vitamins, fruits, and vegetables has improved my overall mood, energy and has helped me to lose weight.

I have some weights at home that I can start lifting with again. I will also be purchasing this adjustable dumbbell soon (look for a review).

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They say a journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step. I have taken a few steps in the right direction now so hopefully, I can reach that destination.

One thing I will tell the younger generations (I am Gen-X) is to take care of their body at a young age. Avoid junk and fast food. Don’t drink soda, etc… It is so much harder to lose weight and get healthier as you get older. I have successfully completed this journey before only to get off the treadmill and start eating horribly again. It gets harder every time.

It’s Been Years in the Making so 2022 it Is

January 28, 2022/in Dad Tax/by sgombar

It’s Been Years in the Making so 2022 it Is

If you’ve visited this blog over the years you’re probably keenly aware that I have not been keeping it up to date. Life has a way of interrupting the best-laid plans.

My kids are 3 years older now and a lot has changed in my professional life. I kept this site up because I did/do intend to get back to it. While I still believe the most important title I hold is daddy sometimes I can only do that job in the privacy of my own home.

What Have I Been Up To?

Professionally speaking a lot has changed while some things remained the same. I still consult on SEO projects but have decided I no longer wanted to handle other businesses’ social media marketing, digital advertising, or website development. I only consult on and train SEO. I do not actually handle it for other businesses anymore. If you need SEO Consultation click here.

I resurrected my IT Business (Nwaj Tech). It is a managed services provider (I call it Proactive IT). I have been getting busier and busier with that.

I also run a mastermind/networking group called Main Street Networking. I have been working on growing that. In fact, one of the hashtags is #LetsGROW

I still do some affiliate marketing, obviously. Clearly not enough to make a living off of but I work on it in my spare time.

I have been asked to write a book on being a dad a couple of times now but have not had enough time to sit down and complete it. I am still very seriously considering it but need to carve out time to write it.

I have also been asked to help put together a virtual dad convention. I am meeting with the person who asked me soon. This will be an international virtual dad convention date to be determined.

And finally, I am considering starting a podcast involving dads but with a twist that involves sports too. I don’t want to give more away just yet but I already own the domain so it’s coming.

2022 will be the first year that I do not coach baseball but my son is still playing. More on that in a bit.

What About the Kids?

Isaiah is still playing baseball, at a much higher level than the last time I wrote. He is on a travel team and has been on a few over the last 4 years. He has made the local all-star team 4 years running now but will no longer be playing for that team anymore.

This past summer he had the walk-off hit to win the district championship for his team. He also closed every game of the tournament. He has aspirations of attending Vanderbilt University, obviously to play baseball.

Isaiah wants to visit every MLB stadium. So far we’ve visited Yankee Stadium and Citifield.

Hannah is still doing gymnastics and dance. She continues to get better at both. She is also very creative and has a lot of interest in all things science.

They’re both doing very well in school. They’re both playing the piano. Isaiah also plays the violin.

We are all just navigating our way through the post-COVID world (can we call it that yet). Yes, it did make the rounds in my house once late last year. Isaiah and Hannah spent exactly a year distance learning. It started to wear on Isaiah so we made the tough decision to send them back almost exactly a year after the pandemic started. He is flourishing now and we do not regret that decision.

I know every parent says this about their children but mine are super talented, super smart, and super energetic. They’re going places.

I am also proud to say that I am a grandfather now. My oldest daughter had her first child about 3.5 years ago. His name is Avery. He is full of energy and doing really well.

What About My Health?

If you know me you know I am a big supporter of addressing men’s mental health issues. I still support Movember every year as should you!

I gained some weight (not a lot) over the 3 years but I am working on losing it now, and beating Type 2 Diabetes. There will be logs about that too.

Oh, my beard is just a little bit longer now..just a little bit.

What’s Next for the Dad Tax?

I will continue to grow this brand and all that goes with it. I have other affiliate sites and my business sites that I also need to write for but will continue to create content for the Dad Tax. Of course, I will keep you all up to date on the virtual dad’s convention and hope to see all of you there.

When I am ready to run with the podcast idea I will share it here. It will be on a different website. I am still considering hosting a podcast on this site as well.

If I do write that book you know I will share that here as well.

Make sure you follow all of the social platforms to stay up to date.

It’s Been a While, but I Didn’t Leave (or Give Up)

December 20, 2018/22 Comments/in Dad Tax/by sgombar

Disclosure: Some of the links in this post are affiliate links and if you go through them to make a purchase I will earn a commission. Keep in mind that I link o these companies and their products because of their quality and not because of the commission I receive from your purchases. The decision is yours, and whether or not you decide to buy something is completely up to you.

It’s Been a While, but I Didn’t Leave (or Give Up)

Life is Funny

I have not blogged on this site in a couple of months and it’s been gnawing at me. I feel as though I am shirking my responsibilities.

Truth is I have just been very busy. I started a new business, sort of. It’s something I have always done for a select few but decided I am going to push forward with it.

I still run the SEO business, with carefully selected clients.

Kids

Holidays

Home Life

And other life challenges have all gotten in the way of me sitting down to write a blog for The Dad Tax.

These are all excuses though. I can write a thousand-word blog in a very short time. I have been known to put a blog post together in under 30 minutes.

It takes me longer to do all the other stuff that goes along with a blog post (images, SEO, sharing).

Truth is I was just tired.

I am the primary parent after school so that means my afternoons are tied up with a 4 and an 8-year-old, and sometimes an infant (my grandson).

My 4-year-old daughter has been a challenge at bedtime lately. After 8 pm is usually my time to write blog posts and plan the next days’ social media posts. She’s been eating at a significant portion of that time.

I have also been setting up how the new business is going to work. I will talk about that another time but if you’re so inclined checkout nwajech.com.

Most days I am up no later than 6 am but sometimes as early as 4 am.

As you can see my schedule is complicated.

But I am not offering any excuses. Just clarifying.

What’s New?

My wife and I did visit Guatemala in October. I will share that trip and pictures in another blog post.

Isaiah is taking winter baseball training at Ultimate Sports. Gotta keep him warm.

As I write this, we are 5 days away from Christmas. In our house, it’s a pretty big deal. Then we hit the road to Virginia to visit my brother-n-law.

A disappointing Jets season is winding down and the hot stove is yet to get hot for the Yankees.

As far as the business side of The Dad Tax I did get my first payout from Google AdSense in October. I don’t use AdSense on this site, but I have a couple of other sites that I use it on.

Hacksploitable.com is a completely automated blog featuring curated IT Security blogs.

ParanoidPenguin.com is my learning/teaching site that I have also not updated in a few months.

My AdSense earnings came from these two sites.

I have been very active in the dad groups on Facebook. I hope that I have been able to help other dads.

Worth Mentioning

Isaiah has always been a quick learner. He was reading before he started Kindergarten (now in 3^rd grade).

Izzy has been more of a challenge but as she is approaching 5 she is starting to catch on. What a relief that is because she starts Kindergarten in about 9 months.

She loves to draw and color too. She is quite the artist already. I am planning to get her a new artist set for Christmas (yes, I have not finished shopping yet, I am typically a Christmas Eve shopper kind of person).

Isaiah has been writing some short stories. He shows a lot of promise and creativity with his stories. He wants to write comics.

I am still a member of Sprezzabox and have yet to be disappointed. The socks that I have received to date have held up quite nicely.

Another box should be arriving any day now. I plan to review that one. My last box included a watch that my son took, socks, and a few other items. No box has had less than 6 items so far.

I will be reviewing the Roku Sticks and Kindle HD soon as well. I have a Roku TV and a couple of older Roku boxes, but this will be the first time I use a Roku Stick. Since we cut the cord and now use YouTube TV for live TV it was time to add this option to more TVs in the house.

And there will be lots more to come. Now that Nwaj Tech is off the ground I have a little more time to write blog posts.

Now I am going to test some baseline alerting and contact rules. If I don’t write again I truly hope everyone who reads this blog enjoys the holidays with their family and friends.

KiwiCo Atlas Crate Review – Holding the World In His Hands

October 13, 2018/27 Comments/in Review/by sgombar

KiwiCo Atlas Crate Review – Holding the World In His Hands

Disclosure: I received this product for free in return for providing my honest and unbiased review. I received no other compensation. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.

I was really excited about this opportunity. Maybe more excited than my son, Isaiah.

First a Little Background on KiwiCo

KiwiCo provides age-appropriate subscription crates (boxes) for children with projects and other educational items.

All the boxes are STEAM oriented.

STEAM is an acronym for Science, Technology, Engineering, Art and Math.

Each month your child receives a project and related learning material to help them better understand a topic.

The crates are all age-appropriate. You tell KiwiCo what age group your child falls into. Depending on the age group you can also choose to focus on certain topics.

Here’s a list of the different crate types:

Cricket 0-36 months – Explore and Discover
Koala 3-4 Years – Play and Learn
Kiwi 5-8 Years – Science, Art & More
Atlas 6-11 Years – Geography & Culture
Doodle 6-16+ — Art & Design
Tinker 9-16+ — Science & Engineering

Isaiah received an Atlas box on Wednesday but because of his schedule, we didn’t get to it until Friday night.

That’s right, our Friday nights involve learning and quality family time. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

The box included pieces to put a globe together, pieces to a related book (I will get to that shortly), a world map and an Atlas pin.

The Globe:

It was in two halves, conveniently divided along the equator. It came with felt stickers that represented each of the continents, a stand, and instructions. The equator has to line up with 0 degrees on the stand at the end of the instructions.

Isaiah was able to follow along with the instructions and put it together in about 45 minutes. He needed minimal help from me. He mostly needed help with some of the steps that required a little more finesse.

The great thing about this part of the crate was he learned about the different continents and where they are in the world in relation to where we live.

There was a tiny felt heart that Isaiah was instructed to place where we live on the globe. He needed a little guidance with this. Most 8-year-olds would.

Sign Up for KiwiCo Hands-On Learning Crates>>>>

The Book:

The book came with a few pages and rings that act as a binder. This also had to be put together.

Isaiah loves to read and already finished reading the few pages that were included in the crate.

He was amazed at some of the facts that were included in the book.

The smallest country in Europe (The Vatican) is .2 square miles.
The longest staircase in Europe is 2 miles long (somewhere in Spain).
There is a bird in South America that can mimic 20 other birds and a chainsaw.

He really loves stuff like that. He is already talking about telling his friends at school. Sure, send them to this page!

The Map:

For a while now, we have been talking about getting Isaiah a map of the world to put in his room. Well, thanks to KiwiCo now he has one.

Now I must get some red pins, so he can mark the places he has been in the world. That’s only Haiti, Jamaica and the East Coast of the US at this point but there will be more.

He has been fascinated with New Zealand for some time now. While most kids want to go to Disney or someplace like that Isaiah wants to go to New Zealand. He finally understands where it is in relation to where we live.

It’s not close at all. It really can’t be much further away in case you’re wondering.

The map is now hanging up in his room along with his favorite Yankee players and a few other baseball related posters. Did I mention he loves to watch and play baseball?

The Results:

It’s not a state secret that kids learn from doing and interacting. It’s also not a secret that kids develop confidence in the topic when they learn this way.

Isaiah is a very smart young man. I know you’re probably thinking that every dad says that about their children, but I am not just saying that.

He’s in 3^rd grade and reading 6-8th-grade books. He is very inquisitive, and most school subjects come very easy to him. Even this crazy new way of making math more complicated than it is.

I could tell immediately that Isaiah received a confidence boost from completing this project on his own. He took pride in his accomplishment.

Isaiah truly enjoyed the project. I enjoyed watching him completing this project.

The globe now sits on his dresser next to all his game balls, trophies, favorite books, travel souvenirs, and baseball memorabilia. These are all the items he takes great pride in. The things he does not want anyone else to touch (except me).

That’s how I know the KiwiCo Atlas Crate is a winner in Isaiah’s eyes. That’s good enough for me.

My children don’t believe in sleeping in. The next morning sometime before 7 am Isaiah was in my bed reading me facts from the book and trying to identify places on the globe. An 8-year-old reading interesting facts to his dad, while he tries to get 5 more minutes of sleep is what raising children, is all about.

Sign Up for KiwiCo Hands-On Learning Crates>>>>

teaching children financial literacy the dad tax

Dad Hack Number 3 Your Kids Financial Future Hangs in the Balance

October 9, 2018/24 Comments/in Dad Hacks/by sgombar

How Dads Can Better Prepare Their Children Financially

Disclosure: Some of the links in this post are affiliate links and if you go through them to make a purchase I will earn a commission. Keep in mind that I link o these companies and their products because of their quality and not because of the commission I receive from your purchases. The decision is yours, and whether or not you decide to buy something is completely up to you.

Let me start by saying I am not a financial guru. I don’t have any degrees or certification in anything related to finance. I never learned anything higher than Accounting 102. This advice is purely my own experience in life and in raising my children.

View this post on Instagram

A new Dad Hack is brewing but we wanted to get some feedback first. I recently opened custodial accounts for my kids using Stash. I add a few dollars to a fund every two weeks. I told my son who immediately gave me $5 of his $9 he was waiting to spend on something to invest in a stock/fund. Do you invest in anything for your children? #TheDadTax #DadHacks

A post shared by The Dad Tax (@thedadtax) on Oct 9, 2018 at 7:37am PDT

A Better Future

We have the obvious things in place. A Life insurance policy that will ensure that our kids don’t financially struggle if anything were to happen to us.

We have a good agent who looks out for our best interests.

We have a college plan that goes beyond hoping our children are the best ballers in the state.

This post isn’t about making sure the kids are set in the unfortunate event that we pass away early in their lives. I don’t want that to happen, but we are prepared.

This isn’t about college planning or anything like that either. We are planning financially and if the kids continue to excel the way they are then college expenses will not be a concern.

This is About Financial Literacy

The schools don’t teach it. Most parents don’t teach it. I was not taught financial literacy.

The lack of financial education dooms most children to a lifetime of struggling financially even if they receive a lot of money from life insurance or inheritance.

I took it upon myself to learn, and I am still learning, as we all should. The financial world evolves just as rapidly as any other world.

Dads should pass financially literacy on to their children. Because it is extremely important and is not taught anywhere else.

When I was done with college I was in a lot of debt but I did not understand the impact it would have on me. I did not know how it makes it harder to get credit and if you do you will have higher interest rates that can cripple you financially.

I didn’t know that bad debt stays with you for many years.

I didn’t know there are ways to take care of the bad debt.

I didn’t know how important it was to have money saved up somewhere.

I had no clue about the stock market or other ways of investing. If I did I would be much better off now.

If I knew in my teens what I know now I would be so much better off financially. Instead of blowing my entire paycheck on nothing during a time in my life when I had very little responsibilities financially I could have been saving and investing.

I did not receive this education.

My Children Will

Dad Hack Three – Use Stash Investment App For Your Children’s Financial Future

We have already started investing for both of my younger children. To do this I use an app called Stash.

There are a number of apps today that can accomplish your goals but I had been using Stash for a little while for my own investing.

To be clear this is not the only means of me investing but something that makes it easier to pick what sector/fund and in some cases stocks you want to invest in.

The cost to you is minimal.

If your account balance is under $5000 then it costs $1 per month. If it is over $5000 then it cost .25% per month.

Trades do not cost anything.

Seems reasonable to me.

What Can You Invest In?

Stash allows you to invest as little as $5 initially.

You can invest in one of the numerous funds. Funds are industry focused so there’s tech options, healthcare, defense, and green initiative funds.

There are also funds that you can select based on risk. Higher risk usually means higher reward (or higher loss).

Stash recently added the ability to invest in some individual stocks. For example, I invested in Microsoft.

You don’t have to invest in any stock on a per share basis as you do with traditional methods of investing. If you wanted to invest just $5 into Microsoft you could even though a share of Microsoft is currently about $113.

If Microsoft pays dividends (which they do every quarter) you get a little piece of it based on your investment.

Stash Learning

Stash also has an educational component for anyone who wants to learn about investing. This comes mostly in the way of blog posts but is very helpful for anyone who wants to learn more.

And it’s free!

I would strongly encourage anyone who needs to save money for whatever reason to consider Stash. I would more strongly suggest that you open a custodial account for your children.

Even if you put $5 a month into a trade it will help them get started in life once they become adults.

Savings accounts earn maybe 1% if anything. Certificate of Deposits are not much better. I am currently up around 5% on my Stash account.

Results do vary based on what you invest in and the risk factor as well as stock market performance.

I can sell and withdraw at any time without much of a hassle. (I am not going to go into tax implications here, speak to a tax professional first).

Stash is also planning to add debit cards soon.

Financial Literacy 101

The one thing that we have struggled with concerning our kids and their financial literacy is getting them to understand the value of a dollar.

Isaiah (8) seems to be turning a corner so progress is being made. I just told him recently about his account on Stash. He immediately gave me $5 of the $9 he had to invest. He’s showing promise.

Both of my younger kids always want to spend money. I am sure all parents know the routine.

At home: Not Hungry

In the Car: Hungry – they want to go out to eat.

Every commercial that comes on TV: Daddy can I have that for Christmas?

We do give our children a few dollars every month to do with as they please. The minute that money hits their hand they want to go to the store.

To be fair Isaiah does talk about giving some to help someone in need. This is also very important. I cannot stress enough the importance of teaching your children to give.

It really is hard to teach a 4 and 8-year-old why they should be smart with their money. They cannot possibly fathom what’s ahead for them in life.

For now, we let them spend their monthly stipend as they see fit while maybe nudging them in a certain direction.

What’s the Lesson?

When they run out of money on day 3 of the month they no longer have money to do anything else. We caution Isaiah of this before he spends it and he sometimes changes his mind.

And as I said earlier, he did give me more than half of what he had left to invest. Progress.

Play Monopoly or Cashflow for Kids

We occasionally play monopoly. Believe it or not, this is a great teaching opportunity as well. Just as in real life you cannot purchase a property in Monopoly if you don’t have enough money. And there are bills to be paid.

Just Use Your Card – the Response

This one is a little harder for them to understand at this point. They think that little piece of plastic means there is an unlimited supply of money.

We all know that is not true.

We are considering getting Isaiah a prepaid card and putting his monthly stipend on it to help him understand.

Great Books to Help Teach Your Kids Financial Literacy

Thankfully Isaiah loves to read. His Uncle purchased:

Get Wall Kids (and Adults Too) Should Know About Savings and Investing on Amazon>>>

I purchased:

Get Escape the Rat Race on Amazon>>>

Get Rich Dad Poor Dad for Teens on Amazon>>>

A Penny for Your Thoughts

My wife and I are in agreement that education starts at home. Isaiah and Izzy both learn at home first and then at school.

When it comes to financial literacy (and a few other topics) the only place they are going to learn is at home. The public school system does not teach kids how to invest, save, or balance an account.

They don’t teach the consequences of bad credit or debt.

The system is not designed to keep people out of debt. Just look at student loans. Once a child is done with college they can be more than $100,000 in debt.

How can you start your adult life that way?

Teach Your Children. If you don’t know it then learn it and teach your children. End the Cycle.

Transcription

STEM is for girls too! A side of confidence boost to go along with it.

Transcription

Dad Hack 4 – Protect Your Kids Online

Cyberbullying and Child Predators are Lurking Just Behind Your Cable Modem

Parents be Vigilant

Dad Hack Number 4 – Keep Your Kids Safe Online

The Weight Loss Journey, 2022 Version

What Changes Did I Make?

How Is It Going?

What Are The Results?

It’s Been Years in the Making so 2022 it Is

What Have I Been Up To?

What About the Kids?

What About My Health?

What’s Next for the Dad Tax?

Life is Funny

What’s New?

Worth Mentioning

Disclosure: I received this product for free in return for providing my honest and unbiased review. I received no other compensation. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.

First a Little Background on KiwiCo

The Globe:

The Book:

The Map:

The Results:

How Dads Can Better Prepare Their Children Financially

A Better Future

This is About Financial Literacy

Dad Hack Three – Use Stash Investment App For Your Children’s Financial Future

What Can You Invest In?

Stash Learning

Financial Literacy 101

What’s the Lesson?

Play Monopoly or Cashflow for Kids

Just Use Your Card – the Response

Great Books to Help Teach Your Kids Financial Literacy

A Penny for Your Thoughts

The Lawyers Made Us Do It

Join Our Private Facebook Group